Take Care
by CanadianSpoon
Summary: AU; Alfred and Matthew are newlyweds. Alfred doesn't want to adopt a child but Matthew does. A tragic accident occurs that harms Matthew severely, and he comes out of it with the mental state of a child. Alfred must uphold his responsibility and take care of Matthew. The experience is eye-opening for Alfred, and he must realize whether or not he really wants to adopt a child.
1. To Love In All Its Forms

**a/n: **Alright this is my second fanfic! I thought my first went pretty well, so I hope this one turns out even better :) It won't have anything to do with fantasy like my first one did. The two main characters are Alfred and Matthew, just like my other fanfic, simply because they are my favorite! A change though: since my OTP is AmeCan, they won't be brothers in this story, and instead will have a romantic relationship for the most part :) Although my second favorite pairing is FrUK, there will be none ;n; it's only because Arthur is Alfred's father and Francis is Matthew's father, so it would be difficult to put Arthur and Francis in a romantic relationship without considering Alfred and Matthew brothers :P So sorry FACE family; it's not your time to shine :c besides that, I hope this all goes along well! Please enjoy and review! And if you dislike something use polite, constructive criticism :) Thanks for reading!

* * *

"_Alfred Jones, do you take Matthew Williams to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?"_

"_I do!"_

"_And Matthew Williams, do you take Alfred Jones to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?"_

"_I do."_

"_I now pronounce you married."_

**(After the ceremony)**

_Tap tap tap_, the microphone sounded as Alfred tapped it to check the sound.

"Ahem," he cleared his voice. The chatter in the room faded away, "My father said that he'd like to say a few words, so I'd like to welcome him up here before he finds the rum," Alfred smiled and the guests of the room chuckled warmly. Arthur grinned confidently and walked up the three steps to the stage.

"The stage's all yours!" said Alfred as Arthur pat his shoulder and took the microphone. Alfred stepped off of the stage and sat next to Matthew at one of the small, round tables.

Arthur coughed in his fist to clear his voice, "Well, where do I start?" he chuckled. He inhaled and exhaled deeply while he thought about what he'd say; even though he'd already rehearsed in his mind a general idea of what his speech would be. "When I was about Alfred's age, I married the love of my life. She was wonderful in every way, but she had one unfortunate flaw," Arthur's eyes began to tear, but it was for the most part unnoticeable, "She was unable to have children. We lived happily for a while without a child, but she couldn't stand the thought of living her entire life without experiencing the joy of having a child. We'd thought about adoption many times, and soon we knew it was the right decision. Before we had the chance to adopt together though, she passed away. I lived a year or two in mourning and never thought of adopting during that time, until Francis, my best friend since childhood, had told me that he was adopting. I thought that just because my wife was gone, it didn't mean her dream couldn't live on through me – her dream of having a child. So that was when I knew for certain that I would adopt a son. I went in to the adoption center with Francis. He already knew the boy he wanted to adopt, but I still hadn't decided as I'd never been there before. As Francis picked up Matthew and talked to him, another blonde little boy ran up to me. Seeing that I was there with Francis, he said, 'Please don't take Mattie away! He's my best friend!' I chuckled and leaned down him. 'Well don't you think that's a little selfish? Doesn't Mattie deserve a father?' I had scolded him. Then the little boy's eyes filled with tears and he straightened his posture. He replied, 'Yeah, you're right! Just tell him I love him, and take good care of him okay?' and he began to cry. It was the cutest thing I'd ever seen, as heart-breaking as it was. 'What's your name?' I asked him. He said 'Alfred, sir,' and when he did I almost burst into laughter at his adorable mannerisms. Then I said to him, 'Well Alfred, how about my friend Francis here adopts Mattie, and then I adopt you? Then you can play with Matthew all the time! How does that sound?' Alfred then hugged me around my neck tightly and giggled so wildly, shouting 'Yes yes! Oh yes sir!' That was one of the happiest feelings I've ever experienced. It feels like just yesterday, and I never imagined that so soon, Alfred, my son, would be marrying the love of his life just as I had. I know I'm just rambling and reminiscing, but, Alfred, if your mother was here today, she'd be thinking the same thing I am: that you and Matthew, who have been inseparable since you were children, were destined to be together and to be happy. You couldn't have found a more charming, wonderful boy to fall in love with son. Congratulations." Arthur smiled a broken grin and wiped his eyes as casually as possible. Alfred met him off the stage and hugged him tightly as the guests applauded Arthur's speech. Arthur kissed his son on the cheek and went to sit down. He patted Francis on the back, "Your turn chap!" he smiled with red eyes, "Make it snappy, I really need some rum!" he laughed and was seated.

Francis smiled and sighed in preparation. He walked to Alfred with his wine glass in hand and took the microphone with his free hand as they exchanged smiles. As he got up on stage, he smiled at Matthew, who returned the smile without words. Alfred returned to his seat next to his newlywed.

"I don't think this'll be nearly as well said as my good friend's speech, but I'll just say what I know," he sipped from his chalice of red wine, "I have had my relationships here and there, but they were never serious. I never really loved any of the women I was with, so I knew I didn't want a child with any of them. I've always loved taking care of children though, because being around them just gets rid of all the loneliness in my heart. I'd been to the orphanage quite a bit before adopting Matthew, to really decide which child was right for me; but in my mind every time I visited, I always knew Matthew was the one. He was absolutely charming, with his wavy, golden locks and timid indigo eyes. He was always playing with Alfred – Alfred would be the hero, and he'd save Matthew from the danger. It was so cute. Many of my friends were bored of me for constantly talking on and on about Matthew, but they just didn't understand the strong, fatherly love I felt for Matthew – even before he became my son. It was the most pure feeling I've ever felt, and I knew I had to have Matthew in my life after spending time with him just those few visits. I know the most wonderful gift Matthew ever received was for my friend Arthur to adopt Alfred. I can't imagine how Matthew could've lived without Alfred. He talked about his best friend, his hero, Alfred, all the time. It's only natural that after all this time, Matthew and Alfred's friendship and love for each other has become this everlasting bond. Matthew, I love you so much, I'm so happy that you've been able to be part of a serious relationship, and I know that you and Alfred will go far. I hope that you will cherish every moment, and enjoy every wonderful day – and night – with your hero," he winked at Matthew, "And Alfred, take good care of your damsel in distress, oui?"

Matthew blushed furiously, "Papa!" he whisper-yelled.

"Will do, sir," Alfred smiled at Francis and squeezed Matthew's hand lovingly, already beginning to take Francis's advice to cherish everything.

"Then let's make a toast?" Francis went on and raised his wine glass; his audience following, "To having the strength to jump over the hurdles in life; to recognizing how precious and fragile your time with someone is; and to love, in all its many forms."

The invitees echoed him, "To love, in all its many forms!"

Francis and the guests toasted and drank, and Matthew and Alfred shared a strong hug and kiss.

After the stir in the room died down a bit, Matthew and Alfred went to chat with their fathers.

"Dad!" Alfred hugged Arthur.

"Whoa!" Arthur laughed while trying to keep the alcohol from jumping out of his glass.

"Your speech was amazing Dad…thank you," Alfred squeezed him.

"Oh it was nothing, I just made it up as I went along!" Arthur lied for the sake of being humble, "So what are you two doing after this?"

"Well tonight we're just going back home, and tomorrow we're going to start our honeymoon!" Alfred exclaimed quietly.

"Oh really?" Arthur asked, happy for the two of them, "Where do you plan to have it?" he sipped his drink.

"Well Matthew doesn't know, so don't say anything about it!" Alfred whispered, leaning in, "I remember when we were kids that Francis took Matt to Niagara Falls. When he came back home he said it was the most beautiful place he'd ever been to. I've never been, but it's not too far from here in New York right? Besides I've got GPS to give me directions and all the money that we need prepared! And we're going to be there for about a week, so we'll have all the alone time we need!" he blushed.

"Well good for you!" Arthur smiled brightly, "I'm so proud of you. I thought you'd lost all your manners, but this honeymoon plan was very sweet of you. Great job Alfred! You're going to make him so happy," Arthur smiled once more.

"You think so?" Alfred beamed, "I didn't know if it was a good idea or not, you know?" he said.

"It's a brilliant idea son; just wait till you see the look on his face once he sees where you are!"

Alfred sighed contently just thinking about it, "Yeah…. God Dad, I love him so much; I really hope he'll like it. I just don't wanna disappoint him, especially for our honeymoon!" Alfred hugged Arthur again.

Arthur sat his glass down on the table behind Alfred so he could return the hug, "Now, now," he caressed Alfred's back, "stop worrying! Everything will go as you planned and Matthew will be ecstatic, you'll see! Just keep thinking about the overjoyed look on his face once he sees the waterfalls; it'll be very romantic and he'll love it!" he encouraged his son.

"Yeah, he does love romantic stuff," Alfred smiled and released Arthur, "Thanks Dad."

"Anytime son," Arthur smiled back.

Meanwhile, Matthew had gone to talk to Francis, who was chatting with some friends.

"Papa?" Matthew tapped his shoulder. Francis whirled around and hugged his son, lifting him off the ground and swaying him back and forth. His friends left the two alone.

"Matthew, Matthew! Oh Goodness I'm so happy for you!" he let Matthew down and kissed his cheeks, "Oh look at what a handsome young man you've become! And marrying such a handsome man, too! I'm so proud!"

Matthew blushed and chuckled, "Well thanks, Papa," he smiled as Francis let Matthew down and released the hug, "I'm so happy with Alfred, you have no idea!"

"And I'm very happy for you too! So, now that you're married to the man of your dreams, what's your next step?" Francis smiled.

"Well, I'm not so sure…" Matthew pondered.

"Well, do you want to start a family in the future? You know, adopt?"

"Of course! I haven't really put much thought into it because I always knew I would; I always wanted to be a good person like you!"

"Are you kidding! You've grown to be so much better than me!" Francis hugged Matthew and rubbed his back.

"Oh thanks, but you've always been my role model and always will be," Matthew pulled away, with his father's hands still rested on Matthew's shoulders.

"Ah, your beautiful eyes," he held Matthew's face into his hands, "I suppose they belong to Alfred now," he added sadly.

"Papa…you know I'll always be your son. That's good enough isn't it?" Matthew looked up at him softly and happily, holding his hand against Francis's which was still on Matthew's cheek.

"That is much more than enough. Having you as a son means more than anything to me! I love you, Matthew!" Francis kissed his cheek again.

"I love you too Papa!" they hugged once more and Matthew saw Alfred coming towards them. "Psst, Papa…" Matthew held his father's hands and bit his lip in apology as he asked with his eyes for Francis to leave him alone with Alfred.

"You don't have to ask Matthew," Francis smiled kindly and hesitantly let Matthew's hand slip out of his; then he walked off to chat with Arthur.

Matthew sighed with joy, "Al…" he hugged his husband.

"Matthew, I love you so much!" Alfred returned Matthew's hug with an even tighter one.

"Oh God I love you too Al," Matthew rested his head on Al's shoulder and they stood still together as people slowly began to leave.

"I guess the party's almost over. After everyone leaves, we'll go home and get some sleep, 'kay?" Alfred smiled at Matthew.

"S-sleep?" Matthew blushed disappointed.

"Yes, sleep," Alfred chuckled softly, "We'll have plenty of time for _other_ things soon."

That statement grew Matthew's blush further.

Alfred pulled up a chair for Matthew and sat himself in a chair as they waited for everyone to leave.

Matthew yawned, "Al, it's kind of rude that we're not telling everyone goodbye," he rubbed his eyes.

"Well, you look exhausted, so just sit here while I go say goodbye to people as they leave okay?" Alfred suggested kindly.

"Oh," Matthew felt impolite accepting Alfred's suggestion, but he was pretty tired, "Alright, thank you."

"I'll be back in a minute," Alfred stood up and kissed Matthew's forehead before leaving to the door for his goodbyes. Matthew laid his head down onto the table to rest, and ended up falling asleep.

When Matthew woke up, Alfred was carrying him bridal-style to their front door with his keys in his right hand.

"When did I fall asleep?" Matthew rubbed his eyes.

"Oh there you are sleeping beauty!" Alfred grinned while reaching his hand up to the lock to put the key in.

"You can put me down now if it's too much trouble," Matthew blushed.

"Oh please Matt, we just got married! It's only right that I carry you this way," Alfred opened the door and threw his keys on the couch when he got inside, shutting the door behind him with his foot. He carried Matthew upstairs to their bedroom, dropping him onto the bed and then collapsing onto the bed face first himself. Matthew smiled and sat up, setting his glasses on the bedside table. He rolled Alfred over – with much effort – and sat on top of his hips.

"M-Matt?" Alfred asked. He sounded clueless, but he wasn't oblivious to Matthew's sexual prowess.

Matthew loosened Alfred's tie and unbuttoned his shirt, "Yes Alfred?" he asked mischievously.

"Whatcha doin'?" Alfred gulped.

"Is it really hard to guess?" Matthew's eyes were full of lust and he grinded against Alfred teasingly.

"S-stop!" Alfred unwillingly protested.

"Whadya mean stop?" Matthew tilted his head adorably, not helping Alfred's desire to save the sex for their honeymoon.

"Well, I can see that you're tired!" Alfred gave a bullshit reason for Matthew to pause.

"Well…sure I guess so," Matthew stopped his playful grinding, "but that's no reason to—"

"No! I really want our first night of sex after being married to be as best as it can be! I don't want us to be tired at all!" Alfred fought.

"…Are you serious?" Matthew let go of Alfred's tie, "It's really not that big of a deal Alfred…."

"Honestly it is for me! Is it really that ridiculous to want it to be more romantic? It's really not a bad idea to wait when you think about it!" He nervously went on.

Matthew sighed and rolled off of him, "Okay then, if you really wanna wait…."

Alfred almost groaned aloud from disappointment when Matthew got off of him. If this was for Alfred's own sake, he wouldn't have let this chance slip by; but since he really did want to save it for their honeymoon, he let Matthew go. "Thank you," Alfred exhaled.

"Well there's no reason for me to get all upset, so I won't," Matthew smiled, "But you better expect me to get my revenge tomorrow night." His understanding smile grew into a dirty smirk.

Alfred's eye nearly twitched at the thought of what Matthew might do to him sexually the next night.

Matthew got off the bed and undressed. It took him a few minutes to carefully hang up his wedding suit. Alfred undressed as well and sat his glasses on his own little table next to his bed, but he had carelessly thrown his clothes on the floor. Matthew picked up the clothes without complaint and hung them up as well.

"Well, goodnight," Matthew switched off the bedside lamp and flopped onto the bed, facing Alfred. "I love you," he smiled in the dark.

"I love you too, Matt," Alfred kissed him and then let Matthew find a comfortable position to sleep in. Alfred could honestly sleep in any position possible, but Matthew was picky about what was comfortable enough. They ended up falling asleep with one pair of their hands held, their legs overlapping each other, and their foreheads resting against each other's. Matthew's other hand was under his cheek, and Alfred's arm was resting awkwardly behind him. Alfred snored moderately, but Matthew was used to it. They fell asleep easily and peacefully – exhausted from an exciting, overwhelmingly joyful day.

* * *

**a/n: **Alright well I hope this first chapter wasn't too boring. Its purpose was kinda just to get things rolling :) Thanks for reading and please continue to read! I don't know how long I'm making this story or how long the other chapters will be compared to this one, and I'm not even sure how to end it yet! But as long as I can fend off the writer's block it should go smoothly c: Please please review so I can become a better writer and be encouraged to continue writing! Thank you!


	2. Just Keep Your Eyes On The Road

**a/n: **Alright in this chapter I think things will start to get moving, but I haven't written it yet so I'm not sure xD I hope it isn't too…weird :/ I'm not exactly sure how the idea for this fanfic struck in my head, all I know is I was very tired when I came up with the idea so prepare for weirdness xD as strange as the situation may seem to you, please enjoy and review :) I'd love to hear your opinions!

* * *

Alfred woke up extra early that morning so he could pack his and Matthew's bags for the week and put them in his car before Matthew woke up. He got their things ready a bit faster than he expected, and had some extra time on his hands. When Matthew woke up, the house was filled with a familiar smell. He put on his glasses and walked downstairs to see Alfred wearing an apron over his pajamas and placing a bottle of syrup on the table next to a plate of pancakes on the dining room table.

"Oh, hey Matt! Is this a good surprise?" Alfred smiled nervously. He didn't know why he was nervous, but he assumed it was because he wanted Matthew to be proud of him.

"Yes Al! It's a great surprise! You've never cooked me breakfast before!" Matthew hugged him. "I must've been tired last night," he yawned, "I'm surprised you woke up earlier than me!"

"Yeah, well I just thought I'd do this little somethin' for you," he kissed Matthew briefly, "Have a seat!"

Matthew sat down to the plate of large pancakes and poured the syrup on them, "Aren't you having any?"

"Well I've already brushed my teeth. Besides, I'm not that hungry anyways," Alfred shrugged. "I'll just go get dressed for the day and lay some clothes out for you, okay?"

"Sounds good!" Matthew smiled widely and began dining in. Alfred sighed with content seeing Matthew happy like this. He went upstairs and dressed into a white, long-sleeved shirt with a pale blue scarf and dark jeans, taking his time, and laid out clothes for Matthew. He also got a towel out for Matthew to take a shower. By the time Al came back downstairs Matthew had eaten little more than half of his breakfast.

"I'm sorry Al, I can't finish," Matthew smiled apologetically.

"Oh, it's okay, you finished most of it! I'll just eat the rest okay?" Alfred said.

"That'd be nice, thank you Alfred!" Matthew stood up and kissed him on the cheek, "I'm very proud of you for going through this effort! And by the way, you look very nice today," he smiled.

"Thanks Matt!" Alfred beamed. "I left you a towel on the bathroom counter for you to take a shower," he told Matthew as Matthew walked upstairs.

"Thanks!" Matthew replied. Upstairs he removed his glasses and undressed before his shower. He rushed himself in the shower this time, rather than taking his time and enjoying the water. Matt brushed his teeth of the maple syrup taste and brushed and blow-dried his satin hair. He spent a while examining his face in the mirror, as he did every morning, making sure his skin was clear and his eyebrows were well-shaped. He loved looking his best for Alfred. Even if Matthew's hygienic tendencies were a bit feminine, he knew Alfred loved the results. He went to their bedroom with the towel around his waist and hung it on the doorknob as a reminder to hang it up in the bathroom when he was finished. He blushed at the clothes Alfred set out for him, thinking the outfit was a bit cutesy. After he dressed, he looked in the mirror that was the sliding closet door at his dark, somewhat-skinny jeans, light blue, long-sleeved dress shirt, and black, white, and grey argyle diamond-patterned sweater vest. Matthew put on his glasses and hung the towel in the bathroom.

"Alright Alfred, I'm ready!" he yelled as he made his way down the stairs.

Alfred just finished rinsing off the dishes he used to make breakfast and washed his hands, "You look…really good," he said, his mouth ajar.

"Well you're the one who picked these clothes for me, how would you think I'd look? I haven't worn a vest in a long time…" Matthew said, trying to remember the last time he'd worn one.

"I thought the look might be too…flamboyant; but you pull it off well," Alfred said.

"Oh stop drooling," Matthew rolled his eyes playfully. "Besides," he walked towards Alfred, " you don't look half bad yourself," Matthew ran his index finger down Alfred's chest and looked him in the eyes.

"Matthew, stop! Do you know how badly I want to attack you right now?" Alfred whimpered.

"Then why don't you?" Matthew smiled wickedly and slid his delicate hands up his lover's shirt to caress his chest.

"Because!" Alfred whined, "I want it to be special!"

"And I used to wonder why I'm usually on top," Matthew snickered and kissed Alfred, then removed his hands from under his shirt.

"H-hey!" Alfred blushed, "That's not true! I'd say it's about even!"

"In your dreams Alfred Jones," Matthew smiled skeptically. Alfred pouted and folded his arms, and Matthew wrapped his arms around Alfred's neck loosely. "So, you must've got us all dressed up for something! Where are we going?" Matthew's tone went from lustful to anticipating.

"What do you mean? Can't we just dress nicely once in a while?" Alfred asked.

"Al, you are the laziest man I know. If it was a normal day you be wearing boxers and no shirt – not that I'd mind. I'm just saying you need an incentive to dress so fancy!" said Matthew.

"Well even if there is a reason, I'm not telling you!" Alfred grinned and leaned back against the counter as he hugged Matthew's waist.

"Not fair!"

"Oh yes it is, why would I spoil a surprise?" Alfred reasoned.

"A surprise?" Matthew's eyes grew wide with excitement.

"Look I'm already starting to spill it!" Alfred frowned, "Don't ask anything else about it okay?" he pleaded.

"Oh alright," Matthew gave in.

"Come on, don't be disappointed!" Alfred hugged him tightly, lifting him up for a few moments and placing him back on the ground – delivering a few giggles from his husband. "Besides, you look very cute today," Alfred ruffled Matt's hair.

Matthew blushed lightly, "Thank you; and hey I just brushed my hair!"

Alfred laughed, "You are _such_ a girl!"

"Hmph! Not funny!"

"Is too, you cutie," Alfred winked.

Matthew steamed. _He_ liked having the upper hand. He always became embarrassed when Alfred teased him.

"Oh that's right, we better get going soon!" Alfred exclaimed, looking around for his keys.

"Oh? Will we be late for something?"

"That's nothing you need to know! You're little questions won't get me to give you hints of where we're going!" Alfred smiled feeling confident that he'd surprise Matthew. He kept imagining Matthew's surprised face – his bright eyes and huge smile – when he saw Niagara Falls again for the first time since childhood.

"I guess I'd rather it be a surprise than not, so I'll stop bothering you about it," Matthew smiled.

"Thanks," Alfred planted a small kiss on his lips, "Where the hell are my keys?"

"Hmm," Matthew looked around for them, "Oh they're right there on top of the fireplace," he said.

"How'd they get there?" Alfred was puzzled.

Matthew laughed, "You're just constantly misplacing things, aren't you?"

Alfred was confused at this too. It seemed like what Matthew had said was a bad thing, but he laughed like it was a good thing. "So…is that a good thing?"

"As long as I love you, then yes."

"…."

Matthew giggled, "Yes Alfred, it's a good thing. It's one of the things you do that just makes you, you! Because you're very silly and I love that about you," Matthew smiled with warmth.

"Alright!" Alfred said and grabbed his keys, "Let's get out of here!"

Matthew followed Alfred out of the door to the car. All of the items Alfred packed were in the trunk.

"We can listen to whatever you want on the radio," Alfred said after starting the car.

"Nah, it's alright. I'd rather just talk, you know?" replied Matthew.

"Sure, sure," said Alfred as he backed out of the driveway and began to drive, "Uh…what about?"

"I don't know. Hmm…"

"Will you stop trying to think of where we're going?"

"It's inevitable!" Matthew groaned, "I love surprises, but I hate not being able to figure out what they are!"

"Um, that's the point of a surprise…to not know what it is."

"I know but I just can't stand not knowing! I'm too excited to be patient!" Matthew practically bounced up and down in his seat.

Alfred laughed softly, "Yeah, I know what you mean; but just be patient this time okay? I promise it'll be worth it!"

"Okay, okay! But you've gotta distract me for me to stop thinking about it!" Matthew begged.

"What's your favorite ice cream?"

"What?"

"I'm trying to distract you!" Alfred said.

"Wait don't you already know my favorite ice cream?"

"…I don't know," Alfred whimpered.

"Al I'm not going to get mad at you for not remembering; that's just silly!"

"Well what is it?"

"What's yours?" Matthew asked.

"Dude, there's too many to have a favorite!"

"True, true. I think mine is mint chocolate chip." Matthew answered.

"Ooh," said Alfred, "That's a good one."

Matthew laughed, "What's your favorite color?"

"Red!"

"Mine too!" Matt smiled.

"What's your favorite…song?" Alfred asked.

"Oh that one's too hard to pick!"

"Yeah, how about flavor?" Alfred asked.

"What do you mean?"

"You know, like sweet, spicy, salty, sour…that kinda stuff," said Alfred, "Mine's sweet!"

"Hmm, mine's salty!" Matthew smiled thinking about salty foods he liked.

"Wasn't hard to guess that you like salty stuff, huh Matt?" Alfred wore a perverted expression.

"You pervert! You're no worse than my father, making jokes like that!" he blushed.

"Anything to get your pretty cheeks to turn red!" Alfred said sing-songingly.

Matthew just pouted and turned his head to look out the window.

"Oh come on Mattie, it was funny!" Alfred pleaded and placed his hand on Matthew's thigh while keeping an eye on the road. The touch made Matthew jump a little, since it was close to between his legs. Alfred smirked at this and disregarded his rules from earlier that morning about waiting, and he slid his hand up Matthew's thigh.

"Hey!" Matthew smacked his hand and Alfred put it back on the steering wheel, "Don't lead me on if you don't want it to go anywhere Al!"

"Okay, geez!" Alfred stuck out his tongue mockingly, "You didn't have to slap me!"

"If I was wearing shorts instead of pants I would've smacked you even harder!"

"I wish you were wearing shorts…"

"Why so I could smack you?" Matthew questioned.

"No so I could feel you up better!" Alfred laughed.

Matthew didn't find it very funny.

"Matt don't be this way, you know I'm only kidding! I love you! Can't I feel you up out of love?" Alfred had desperation and fake tears in his eyes.

"No. Not as long as I can't make a move on you. It's only fair."

"Sheesh, so strict."

"Well it's your fault! Do you have any idea how badly I wanted to fuck last nigh— ...I-I can't believe I just said that."

"Matthew Williams! _Language_! God I didn't know you had it in you! 'How badly I wanted to fuck last night,' huh? You must feel so deprived!" Alfred appeared genuinely shocked by Matthew's choice of language.

Matthew whimpered and crossed his legs, "As a matter of fact, I do feel a little bit that way."

"Oh…Matt I'm sorry…"

"It's okay," Matthew shifted uncomfortably, "Man, just thinking about the things I wanted to do last night…it's making me all bothered…" he said, embarrassed.

Alfred blushed, "Really, I'm sorry! I was telling the truth though! I really did want to wait till tonight because I wanted it to be romantic for you! It really was for your sake Matt! If it was my choice I would've totally done it with you!"

"_Done it with me_?"

"What? It's better than your word of the day," Alfred smirked, "I remember the first time you used the word 'fuck'."

"Really? Why would you remember that?" asked Matthew.

"Because we were at your dad's house."

"…I'm not following you," Matthew said.

"Dude…"

"What? I don't get it!"

"It was the first time we had sex!" Alfred exclaimed.

Matthew was silent.

"Well? Do you remember?"

"That was like, ten years ago!" Matthew said.

"You don't remember the first time we had sex?" Alfred yelled.

"Of course I do! I just don't remember when I used that word…" Matthew thought deeply.

"Maybe this'll ring a bell: 'Oh Alfred! Fuck me harder! Fuck me Al, fuck me harder!'" Alfred yelled while making a grinding motion on his seat, "I really brought the voice outta you!" he laughed.

Matthew again remained speechless, except his mouth was left open a little.

"Well? Do you remember now?"

"Yes I remember!"

"Okay, gosh! You're so loud today!" Alfred replied.

"Well what do you expect? You got me so hot and bothered!" Matthew yelled, blushing furiously.

"Well look at you Mr. Williams, hot this morning?" Alfred looked over at him and winked.

"J-just keep your eyes on the road!" Matthew's red pigment kept growing.

"How can I when you're so desperate?" Alfred giggled.

"Just stop looking at me! I don't want you to get into an accident," he hid his face in his hands. When he peeked between his fingers, Alfred was looking back at the road. Matthew uncovered his face.

"Can we turn on the radio now?" Alfred asked.

"Well, we've been driving long enough to where the radio stations aren't the same as the ones at home," Matthew answered.

"Oh…" Alfred began whistling out of boredom.

"So," Matthew began after a minute and Alfred stopped whistling, "What are we going to do after this?"

"I told you I'm not letting you know where—"

"I'm not talking about that," Matthew cut him off, "I mean, now that we're married, what now?"

"Well…I dunno."

"Yeah, we never really thought much about it, did we? I mean, we're still in college and are being supported by our parents…we really need to figure out where we're going."

"What brought this up Matt?" Alfred queried.

"Well Papa asked what our next step is. He asked me if we're going to start a family, to adopt. And I said of c—"

"Of course we're not!" Alfred laughed. Matthew wasn't laughing. "Matt?" Alfred looked over, confused.

"What?" Matthew was even more confused than Alfred, "What do you mean of course not?"

"Well, why should we? You're all the family I need! I wanna spend every day taking care of you! Not giving my attention to some kid! I want to have sex whenever we want to, not wait for our stupid kid to fall asleep! I don't wanna take care of some little brat that likes to destroy things and be loud and mad all the time! Not to mention the messes it would make!"

"A-Alfred…that's just the responsibilities that come with having a child; but the joy that a child gives you is unlike anything! It's so special, and it's the deepest love anyone can have!" Matthew smiled weakly, "It's not all about messes and noise; it's about being silly and having fun and raising something so important to you!"

"But you're the most important thing to me and I want to keep it that way! We can still do fun and silly things without having a kid!" Alfred smiled. He felt like he was making the situation better when he really wasn't.

Matthew was almost sick to his stomach. Was there no convincing Alfred? Did he seriously never want a child? "Alfred…I…" Matthew sighed, "Let's just talk about this some other time okay?"

Alfred replied, "Well sure, Mattie, but I don't really think there's anything to discuss," he shrugged.

"Yeah…" Matthew looked out his window, "Where are we Al?"

"I'm not sure…I kinda got distracted along the way…" Alfred answered.

"You don't know where we are?"

"Well I'm sure we're going the right way!"

"Why don't you use the GPS?" Matthew suggested.

"Well I was planning on it, but then I realized if I did then you'd know where our destination is!" Alfred felt stupid.

"Al it's alright, just use it!"

"No way!"

"Please! I don't want us to get lost!" Matthew begged.

"We won't, don't worry!" Alfred smiled, "We left early for a reason; so we have hours to pass before it gets dark!"

"Okay, but as soon as it starts getting dark will you use the GPS?"

Alfred sighed, "Yes."

"Thank you."

**(Hours of driving later)**

"Okay it looks like we've been going the right way, I saw a couple signs that—"

"Al?" Matthew asked.

"Yes?"

"You said you'd use the GPS once it started getting dark…."

"Oh please, the sun is barely setting!" Alfred argued.

"Alfred…it's been dark for at least half an hour."

"Please don't make me ruin the surprise!" Alfred pleaded.

"Al we're driving on a narrow road on a cliff and it's dark! It's dangerous and we don't even know where we are or where we're going!"

"I know, I know, just—"

"Al, please! It's making my nervous being on this narrow road."

"Why?"

"It just is! Does it matter why?" Matthew questioned.

"I guess not," said Alfred, "How do you even work this thing?"

Matthew yawned, "You can figure it out," he took off his glasses and closed his eyes to rest. He unbuckled his seat belt to be more comfortable so he could fall asleep.

"Hmm…" Alfred said in thought. He pressed a few buttons, and one of them turned on the GPS. "Oh," he said.

"Please enter your destination," it said.

Alfred whined.

"Just do it Alfred," Matthew said, his eyes still closed.

"But…but…" Alfred didn't want to spoil the surprise.

"Alfred, please."

"Please enter your destination."

"Okay, okay!" Alfred yelled and began typing letters very slowly.

Matthew rubbed his eyes and opened them. He squinted to see some lights on the road. He thought they were street lights, but—

"A-Alfred!" Matthew yelled in shock, grabbing Alfred's arm.

"What?" Alfred yelled, his head darted up, "Fuck!" he grabbed the wheel with both hands and squeezed it as a reaction to his shock and turned the car sharply off the road. They barely missed hitting a diesel truck that was almost taking up both of the lanes on the road.

* * *

**a/n: **I don't know why but I thought this would be a good place to end the chapter :) I hope it was enjoyable even though it was mostly pointless chatter xD but the ending actually starts the serious stuff, so maybe I shouldn't be fun faces :( I hope I write the next chapter well! Oh and the next chapter is where it gets strange :P Thank you for reading and please review!


	3. Nice To Meet You Alfred Jones

**a/n: **I hope this chapter isn't overly or under dramatic :P Please review! :3 Enjoy!

PS: Thank you so much for all the favorite and story alerts and for the nice reviews! It means a lot :D

* * *

Alfred awoke. At first, he couldn't see anything – just blurred white.

"Wha—…What happened?" he groaned, his heart was still pounding, but he had no idea why, yet. Alfred lifted his arms to feel his face. He noticed that his glasses weren't there. He reached forward onto the dashboard to feel for them and ended up nicking his hand on a few glass shards.

"Ow!" he exclaimed, "What the fuck is that from?" wondered Alfred. He felt the frame of the windshield and realized that the windshield itself was nonexistent, besides some jagged shards protruding from the frame.

"Oh shit…." Alfred tried to remember what happened, then the scene replayed in his mind. He swerved to avoid hitting the truck, then drove off the side of the road and as soon as he knew it they were headed straight for a tree. The last thing he saw was Matthew when he looked over at him…who he then remembered had taken off his seat belt. "Fuck!" he shouted and searched frantically for his glasses. He found them in his lap and quickly put them on with shaky hands. He began to practically hyperventilate when he looked to the passenger's seat, and there was nobody in it.

"Matthew?" he screamed. There was no answer. "Oh God, oh God! Matthew where the fuck are you?"

Alfred unfastened his seatbelt and tried to open the driver's side door. He struggled to open the mangled door even with all the strength his emotion was delivering him. Alfred shifted his body to where he could pull the handle and kick the door open at the same time. It worked. He tumbled out of the car and instantly got up to look for Matthew.

"Matthew!" Alfred yelled for him while he searched around the front of the car. It was especially hard to see because it was dark, and both of the headlights were busted. He looked out into the distance, and about 25 feet away from the car lay Matthew's body on its side, motionless. Alfred ran to him without hesitation, and prayed that his husband wasn't dead.

"Matt," Alfred breathed a heavy, stammering breath and rolled Matthew over on his back. 'Please don't be dead…' Alfred thought as he fearfully pressed his ear against Matthew's chest to hear for his heartbeat.

"Thank God," Alfred sighed with tears pricking his eyes. He could also hear Matthew breathing, but very faintly, "I don't know if you can hear me Mattie, but I'm gonna go call an ambulance. Hang in there!" Alfred held back his tears and kissed Matthew's lips. He then left to the car and found his cellphone on the car floor by the petals. He dialed 911 and called for an ambulance. He didn't know where he was, but they tracked his cell phone location. Alfred returned to Matthew's side and knealed down beside him.

"I want to hold you so badly…but I'm scared to move you…I'm scared that I'll hurt you," Alfred couldn't stop a few tears from breaking through. He could see some shards of glass in Matthew glinting in the moonlight, but he knew he shouldn't be the one to remove them. He pet Matthew's hair and after just a few strokes his hand was nearly covered in blood.

"Jesus!" Alfred lifted up Matthew's head and looked at the back, "Damn, it's too dark to see!" All he was able to see was the dark blotch of blood on the back of Matthew's head – which was easy to notice in contrast to his bright blonde hair – but he couldn't determine a specific injury. "I can't believe I did this…" Alfred said to himself, grabbing Matthew's hand and squeezing it, "If I k-killed you…I won't be able to live with myself Matthew…" he stuttered as he began to sob.

Matthew's finger twitched in his hand. Alfred was alerted, but he didn't know whether it was a good or bad thing. It was good because Matthew was a little less on the verge of death if he was conscious, but bad because if he regained consciousness he'd feel all the pain in his body. The only injury Alfred knew about so far that Matthew had was something causing his head to bleed. Who knew what else was wrong in Matthew's body.

"Matthew, don't move. If you can hear me then please just stay still and don't hurt yourself," Alfred asked of him. Matthew didn't move, but Alfred was unsure if it was because he was listening to what Alfred told him to do or whether he simply couldn't move.

"Where's that fucking ambulance?" Al felt as though half an hour had passed. Matthew could have been bleeding to death while Alfred remained helpless – which is exactly how Alfred felt. After all, he did believe it was solely his own fault for the accident. Alfred couldn't help but imagine what Matthew's face would look like – or, would have looked like – when they saw Niagara Falls. He kept picturing it over and over unintentionally. Visualizing Matthew's smile and hearing his laughter. It made him feel ill. He was sick to death thinking about how he might never be able to see that smile again, or hear that laugh, or feel that joy that only Matthew made him feel. Alfred had always taught himself to stay positive and see the upside of things, but for that small moment he just couldn't. He realized, though, that if he gave up hope, then he gave up Matthew; and he wasn't prepared to do that.

"J-just hang in there Matt, you'll get through this," Alfred cried, tears pouring down to his chin and onto Matthew, "The ambulance will be here any minute, and we'll get you better Matthew…I p-promise." Alfred couldn't resist and hugged Matthew's head to his chest protectively. He couldn't stand to say anything else without cursing at himself or sobbing his words.

The ambulance finally arrived after what seemed like an eternity.

Alfred took a deep breath, "Thank God."

When they arrived, two people helped lift Matthew onto a gurney and into the vehicle. One of the nurses was checking on Alfred. Alfred didn't know what injuries he had, and the nurse told him that as far as she could tell, he had none. This fact enraged Alfred, but it didn't show. The only feelings that did show – which were very potent – were fear and worry for Matthew. The nurse led Alfred inside the ambulance where Matthew was.

**(At the hospital)**

Of course, Matthew needed to be taken to the emergency room, and soon after, the operating room. But Alfred didn't need surgery, so he wasn't welcome in the operating room. Now his anger was showing through.

"What?" Alfred screamed when they didn't allow him in the operating room, "I'm his fucking husband, let me inside!"

"I'm sorry, sir," one of the two nurses not letting him through had said, "We can't let you."

"Why the fuck not?"

"Look, it's better off that you're out here. The doctors and surgeons need their space and—"

"Need their _space_? Matthew needs _me_!" Alfred protested.

"Sir, your husband will recover faster if the doctors can concentrate – you'd just be in the way," said the other nurse sadly, trying to reason with Alfred.

"Do you have anyone you should call?" The first nurse tried distracting Alfred in giving him reason to preoccupy himself.

Alfred was still panting fairly heavily, but he realized he did have people to call.

"Y-yes, I do," he said.

"Alright then, how about we give the surgeons some time with Matthew, and you can give those people a call?"

"…Alright," he exhaled. They wanted him to use the hospital phone and not his own, for whatever reason. He went down the hall, following one of the nurses, and approached the phone. He picked up the phone and started dialing Francis's number, but then realized how hard it would be to tell Matthew's father that he almost killed his son from reckless driving. So, he started over and dialed Arthur's number.

He prayed Arthur would answer, since he tended to go to bed early. Arthur picked up the phone.

"_Hello_?" asked Arthur, wondering who was calling him at almost ten o' clock at night.

Alfred didn't respond for a moment, "D-Dad?"

"Alfred?" Arthur asked, puzzled, "Whose phone are you calling from?"

"I-I'm at the hospital Dad," Alfred replied. His throat felt swollen from all the effort he put in trying not to sob.

"What? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm okay…but…."

Arthur feared the worst, "Is Matthew alright?"

Alfred couldn't answer or he would've choked spasmodically on his sobs.

"What hospital are you at?" Arthur asked, trying to hide his panic with a calm voice.

Alfred echoed the question to the nurse, "I guess Garden Oak."

"Alright I'll be there—"

"Wait," Alfred began, "…I haven't told Francis…I couldn't…"

Arthur sighed, "What do you want me to do Alfred?"

"You don't have to tell him, or, oh God I don't know…I don't know what to do!" Alfred was frustrated.

"Well what happened?" Arthur asked.

"I'll tell you when you get here, just bring Francis with you and don't tell him Mattie's hurt. It wouldn't be fair to him if I didn't tell him myself."

"Okay Al—"

Alfred hung up before Arthur could finish speaking. He went and sat on one of the chairs in the hallway and buried his face in his hands. Alfred didn't fully grasp what was happening, and he felt like his mind would burst if he was able to completely comprehend the situation. Not once while he waited did he think that Matthew might die. He unconsciously couldn't let himself think that, because thoughts like that would tear him apart.

**(Arthur and Francis arrive)**

Alfred stood up as he saw Arthur and Francis, who were being led by a nurse, approach him. They both were confused, but Francis was especially confused – and angry – because Arthur hadn't answered any of his questions the whole ride there.

"Okay what's going on? Where's my son?" Francis stormed towards Alfred.

"Francis please calm down," Arthur said and put a hand on Francis's shoulder. He always had a calm, cool atmosphere about him that no one understood how he could retain. "I'm sure Alfred will explain everything."

"Right…" Alfred sat down and held his hands together as if in prayer. His breathing was shallow, his eyes red and wet, his body bruised and bandaged in some places.

Arthur took a seat next to him and rested a hand on Alfred's arm comfortingly, "Well?"

Alfred sighed, "Well, we were on our way to Niagara Falls for the honeymoon, and I was driving. We were on the road all day because I refused to use my GPS – I wanted it to be a surprise where we were going. It got dark and we were on this narrow road. I was trying to figure out the GPS because I promised to use it when it got dark," Alfred struggled to speak clearly while crying, "I wasn't paying attention to the road at all and Matt screamed, and when I looked up we were about to hit a 16-wheeler truck. So, in a panic, I swerved off the road. I didn't know what happened until after I woke up, and I remembered that we hit a tree and Matthew…" Alfred had been sobbing now, "He wasn't wearing his seat belt and flew through the windshield. I have no idea how bad he's hurt, except that he was bleeding really badly on the back of his head. He's in the operating room right now, and they won't let me in…" he sank his face into his hands again, his tears reviving the dried blood on his hand from Matthew.

"…M-mon dieu…" Francis finally uttered. He was terrified.

"Dear God Alfred…well, are you okay?" Arthur asked concerned.

"That's the worst part! Matthew's in there and he could die, and I got away with fucking cuts and bruises!"

"Son, calm down."

"No! This is so fucked up Dad! And I keep imagining his face, what it was going to look like when we went to Niagara Falls and how happy he'd be! God this is so fucked up!" Alfred was pulling on his hair as if it would stop his from thinking.

"Stop screaming," Arthur rubbed Alfred's back and pulled Alfred's hand out of his hair.

"They can't stop me from going in, I'm his father!" Francis said, "Where is he?"

Alfred thought it wouldn't be fair that Francis would see him and he couldn't, but he wasn't going to be selfish, "You have to go through those two doors down there, but they wouldn't let me in so I don't know what room he's in. Just ask that nurse to take you."

Francis walked off without speaking to Alfred again.

"I don't think he's mad at you Alfred," Arthur tried to comfort him.

"He should be! I'm mad at myself! It wasn't supposed to be this way! What if he doesn't make it?" Alfred choked and gasped as he cried.

"Don't think like that! Are you willing to give up hope when Matthew needs it most?" Arthur's approach was always reasoning.

Alfred just continued to sob, and for hours it went on this way.

**(3 hours later)**

Alfred had moments where he stopped sobbing, and moments where he returned to being hysterical during the hours of surgery. Francis was with Matthew the entire time, sometimes actually being able to witness the operation without vomiting, but for the most part looking away. For the time being, Alfred was in his mellower of moods, and was silently hoping and praying for Matthew. Arthur saw Francis running down the hall. Arthur stood up at his arrival, and Alfred followed.

"What's happened?" said Arthur, worried.

"He's…they…" Francis panted.

"Well?" Alfred demanded.

"They finished!" He finally spouted.

Alfred bolted down the hallway past Francis and through the large doors. Arthur and Francis soon followed him. Alfred didn't know where Matthew was, so he just looked frantically into the open doors for his husband. He found him not in an operating room, but in another small room that he assumed patients went to after the operation.

"Matthew!" he burst into the room and one of the nurses shouted from surprise.

"You shouldn't be in here right now," another said, "He needs to rest!"

"Please, please just leave me alone with him! Just give me ten minutes!" Alfred said. Arthur and Francis soon arrived behind him.

"I'm sorry but it wouldn't do any good. He's not going to wake up for a while. He took serious head trauma."

"What do you mean?" Alfred asked.

"Matthew is in a coma, and it's best he remains in one for a little while," the nurse said.

"Like how long? A few days? I can't wait that long!" Alfred shouted.

"Sir, we need him to stay inactive for a while to regain stability,"

"Will you give me a straight answer?" Alfred yelled at her.

"We need to keep Matthew comatose for at least a month."

Alfred didn't know what to say.

"…A month?" yelled Francis, "That's ridiculous!"

"You both are being ridiculous!" Arthur scolded them, "Obviously they're doing the best they can to take care of Matthew! We're lucky he isn't dead! Aren't you thankful? You must understand that he needs this time to recover! Don't you want him to heal?"

The nurses were surprised at how reasonable and understanding Arthur was. It was rare that any visitors acted so collected.

Alfred began, "Well…it's only a month right? It'll go by fast and soon everything will be back to normal," he tried convincing himself.

"Exactly," Arthur added and patted his son's shoulder, "I'm sure all of this noise isn't doing him good, we should be going soon."

"Already?" Alfred sighed. He walked over to Matthew. For the first time he could see how beat up his husband really was. He had bruises and slight hemmoraging all over – on his arms, legs, and especially on his face. He had so many bandages, underneath which were cuts. He also had a large bandage wrapped around his forehead. Alfred was astonished that the didn't have to shave Matthew's hair for the operation. He swiped Matthew's bangs to the side, and kisses his bandaged forehead.

Francis then walked over and squeezed Matthew's hand, and even managed to smile a little for Matthew's sake. He was suddenly overcome by the joy that his son was alive and tears fell from his eyes. He remained silent though, and left the room before Alfred and Arthur. Arthur went to Alfred and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"They'll take good care of him while we're gone; don't worry."

"Yeah…" Alfred said. He wanted to kiss Matthew goodbye, but decided not to. He and Arthur left the room, and before he left as well, Alfred looked back into the room and said "I love you" to Matthew in a whisper.

In the parking lot, it struck Arthur that Alfred had no car.

"Oh damn…how will you get to school Alfred?" Arthur asked.

"Well the college is in walking distance I guess…" Alfred replied.

"Yeah if you want to walk for two hours," said Arthur, "I'll look after you and give you a ride okay?"

"Okay," Alfred said.

"I guess I'll have to stay with you until we figure out what's going on with your car. I'll have to call the insurance company and ask—"

"I don't really give a shit right now Dad."

"…Alfred I'm just trying to—"

"My husband that I just married _yesterday_ is nearly dead and he won't be back home with me for a month at least…not to mention this is all my fucking fault in the first place…I almost killed him."

"But you didn't," Arthur tried to halt his son's torturing thoughts, "And we're going to get through this. No one is upset with you,"

"Francis is!" Alfred claimed.

Arthur sighed, "Francis, will you please talk to Alfred?"

Francis looked at Alfred sadly, but not angrily. He didn't know what to say since he actually was upset with Alfred.

"Francis, I'm sorry…I didn't mean for this to happen…I just wanted to have a nice honeymoon and it became this…I'm so sorry," Alfred was on the verge of another emotional breakdown.

"It's not your fault Alfred. Matthew wasn't wearing a seatbelt after all, right? Accidents happen and they aren't really anyone's fault. So it's okay Alfred," Francis replied and hugged Alfred.

Alfred didn't return the hug, but was comforted by it.

"Thanks," he said to Francis.

"Alright, I'll drop you off at home Francis, and I'll go home with you Alfred."

"Sure," said Francis as he walked over to the passenger's side of the car. Alfred sat in the back with his head leaned against the window, looking at nothing. Arthur dropped Francis off as said, and drove to Alfred's home.

"Alright so I guess I'll sleep on the couch?" Arthur asked.

"Sure whatever," Alfred replied and began walking upstairs.

"Oh and Alfred I'll need to know what prescription of glasses Matthew wears so I can buy him a new pair tomorrow!"

Alfred didn't reply and slammed his door shut. Arthur sighed and wondered how long his son was going to act this way.

**(Three weeks later)**

The lack of communication between Alfred, Arthur, and Francis went on for three long weeks, until Francis got a phone call.

Francis called Arthur and told him that Matthew had woken up from the coma. Arthur immediately drove, with Alfred, to the hospital and met Francis there. Together they went to Matthew's room.

"I thought he was awake?" Alfred asked as he walked over beside Matthew and pulled up a chair. Francis stood on the other side of the bed and Arthur stood next to Francis.

"He's out of his coma," said a nurse, "he's just sleeping. You can wake him up if you like."

Without hesitation, Alfred took Matthew's hand and squeezed it gently, "Matthew…. Matthew wake up," he whispered into Matthew's ear with a shaky voice. He felt Matthew's finger twitch, just like after the accident. He kept his eyes fixed on his husband's closed one's, anticipating their opening, "Matthew, please wake up," he spoke a bit louder.

Matthew grunted and blinked his eyes open slowly, as if not used to the bright light.

"Oh, here!" Arthur handed the glasses he purchased to Francis, who put them on Matthew.

"Matthew?" Francis asked.

Matthew adjusted his eyes.

"Where am I?" he said.

"At the hospital," Alfred replied, smiling. He was so happy to see that Matthew was okay.

Matthew looked over at Alfred and stared at him for a second, "Who are you?"

Francis gasped quietly.

"…I'm Alfred…don't you know who I am?" Alfred was a little worried.

Matthew furrowed his eyebrows and shook his head exaggeratedly. Alfred was speechless as Matthew looked around at the people near him.

"Who are all you?" he asked.

Francis was immediately teary-eyed, "I'm your father Matthew! Don't you remember?"

"Nuh-uh," Matthew shook his head, "I'm Matthew?"

"Of course! You don't know who you are?" Alfred yelled. This scared Matthew and he pulled his hand out of Alfred's and cowered towards Francis.

"Alfred lower your tone!" Arthur scolded him, "Matthew, I'm Arthur. Do you know what happened?"

"Happened?" Matthew looked dumbfounded.

"Do you remember anything Matthew? Anything about who you are?" Arthur asked softly and kindly with concern.

Matthew thought and shook his head, "Matthew doesn't know," he said.

Alfred was puzzled at why Matthew called himself 'Matthew'.

"What the fuck is going on?" Alfred asked, confused and scared.

His poor choice of language delivered him frowns from Arthur and Matthew.

"I-I'm sorry, but I'm so confused," Alfred said with a cracked voice.

"We feared this would happen as a result of the massive head trauma," the nurse said, "He appears to have amnesia or memory loss of everything before now. We'll have to do some MRI scans."

"He…doesn't remember _anything_?" asked Alfred with disbelief.

"I'm afraid that might be the case."

Alfred almost started crying like Francis had, but he held strong.

"H-hey Matthew…" Alfred said.

Matthew scooted away from him.

"Can I please shake your hand? I'm sorry if I sounded mean, I'm really not. I want to be your friend Matthew," said Alfred.

Matthew slowly scooted back towards Alfred and held out his hand, wondering what the man was going to do with it.

Alfred shook his hand, "Hello Matthew…I'm Alfred, Alfred Jones."

Matthew took a second to warm up to him, but then he smiled brightly, "It's nice to meet you Alfred Jones!"

Alfred smiled too, as he felt his heart breaking. He was on the verge of breaking down.

"Alright I'll go get him ready for the MRI scans, come on Matthew," the nurse smiled.

Matthew got up slowly, still in a little pain, and followed the lady out of the room.

Alfred watched Matthew smile back at him and leave, then broke down into tears, "What the fuck happened?" he sobbed, "What happened?"

"N-now now, I'm sure—"

"You're not sure about shit Dad! Oh God Matthew!" Alfred buried his head into the pillow to muffle his cries as he clenched onto the sheets. Francis also felt a wreck, but he wasn't sobbing hysterically like Alfred.

"Alfred…" Arthur started, but he didn't know what to say.

All they could do was wonder what had happened to Matthew as they waited for the answers to their questions.

* * *

**a/n:** ugh this one was a lot longer than I wanted :P well I hope the story's alright so far :) I'm sorry if I put in too much sobbing and sniveling, but I would just expect a lot of tears if something like this happened to someone :P You know what bothers me though? When I upload a story into the doc manager, if a sentence has a question mark and exclamation point, then it only leaves the question mark :( it's irritating because it makes it less dramatic! anyway, please continue to enjoy and review!~


	4. Everything's Gonna Be Alright

**a/n: **yay the story finally started going somewhere xD I think my worst writing habit is writing some things in too much detail and others rushed :c I hope it doesn't show too bad! Enjoy and review! ;u;

* * *

Matthew opened the door and stepped into the hospital room, and the nurse came in after. The three men's heads darted up as they anticipated the results.

'What's wrong with my husband?' Alfred thought.

"You have the results?" Arthur asked.

"Yes…go ahead and sit on the bed Matthew," she smiled.

Matthew smiled back, "Okay!" he said childishly and sat onto the bed, kicking his dangled legs back and forth alternately, and watching his hospital robe kick up from the air and float back down.

The nurse sighed, which meant bad news.

"Well, it's clear that Matthew does have amnesia, but it's unclear whether or not it's permanent. Sometimes these things go away, sometimes they don't," she said.

"How do they go away?" Alfred asked as he watched Matthew curiously stare about the room as if gazing at a butterfly in motion.

"Well sometimes the memories gradually come back over time, or sometimes they all come back at the same time through an event. For example, have you heard the story of the girl who was kicked by a horse and became cross-eyed, and when she was kicked again her eyes went back to normal? I've heard of a few cases where taking head trauma has caused a patient to regain their memory, for whatever explanation. I've never actually witnessed this though."

"That sounds ridiculous," Alfred said.

"I know it seems unlikely, I'm just saying that it's happened. The most common I've seen is where a patient experiences something that they used to do before their memory loss, and it causes their memory to trigger," she explained.

"Oh so, like, if Matt's favorite ice cream is mint chocolate chip, and I take him out for ice cream, then he'll remember that he likes mint chocolate chip?" Alfred asked.

"Something along those lines," she answered.

"Alright so he has memory loss, but there's obviously something else going on with my boy," Francis added.

"Right, well…it might be hard to grasp, but Matthew has attained the mind of a child."

"Huh?" Alfred was puzzled.

"We're not exactly sure why, but Matthew's mind has reverted to the ways of a child's mind. So he basically talks like a child, acts like a child, and thinks like a child. He'll probably do typical child-like things, like be picky about what he eats, get easily excited about things, want to pet soft things and explore other textures. He's expected to be very touchy-feely and curious about everything, because children are like little explorers."

"I…I don't understand how this happened…I just…. So…he's like a kid in an adult's body?" said Alfred.

"Precisely," the nurse answered simply.

"Well, what the hell are we supposed to do?" Alfred asked. He didn't know how to grasp it all. He thought this would all end after Matthew woke up, but it only got worse. He didn't even know things like this could happen.

"Well you have to take care of him of course. What else would you do, send him to an orphanage?" the nurse said sarcastically, not knowing that Alfred and Matthew had actually come from an orphanage. She touched a soft spot in Alfred's heart.

"Of course not!" Alfred exclaimed and grabbed Matthew's hand protectively. Matthew was startled. "I don't want him to experience that again!"

"Well, I suppose he can come back home with me," suggested Francis, "I am his father, so I suppose it's my responsibility now."

"No! Just let me think!" Alfred yelled, not letting go of Matthew's hand. Matthew looked up at him curiously; he was confused about why everyone was acting so frustrated and strange. "How long will it be this way?" Alfred asked the nurse.

"I don't know if Matthew will ever return to normal, but if his memory returns, then his normal self is expected to return at the same time," she answered.

"Look…" Alfred put his free hand on his forehead out of stress and sighed, "I know that taking care of him like this…will be a big responsibility; but Francis, I love him with all my heart and I can't just give him up like that. I'd hate myself if I did that to Matthew. Even if he is this way, and even if I have to treat him like a child, I can't be away from him. I want to take care of Matthew," he said as he squeezed Matthew's hand, "He is still my responsibility and it's going to stay that way."

"Of course Alfred, I understand," Francis smiled. He wouldn't have minded taking responsibility of Matthew again, but he knew Alfred loved him and wanted to uphold responsibility for himself.

"That's very mature of you Alfred," Arthur smiled at his son.

Matthew squeezed Alfred's hand to get his attention, "Alfred, am I going with you?"

Alfred looked into Matthew's eyes, and they truly reminded him of Matthew's eyes when he was a child. Alfred smiled, "Yes Matthew."

Matthew wore a huge smile in return. Even though Alfred sometimes seemed mean, Matthew really liked him.

"Alfred?" Matthew asked again.

"Yes?"

"Are you my Papa?" Matthew asked with large eyes.

"No, Francis there is your Papa," he answered, "I'm…your caretaker."

"Oh," Matthew blinked and smiled at Francis.

"And that is my father," Alfred pointed to Arthur and Arthur waved with a smile, "His name is Arthur!"

"Oh," he said again, his mouth agape in wonder at all the new people he was just introduced to.

"Um…Alfred?" Matthew asked once more.

Alfred giggled, "What is it Matthew?"

"How come if you're my caretaker, and he is my Papa, then I don't remember you? And I don't even remember doing anything with you guys."

Alfred found that question difficult to answer, "Well, Matthew…an accident happened and it made you forget lots of things. But you don't have to try to remember them right now okay? We'll work on remembering everything with time," Alfred smiled. He felt like he did a good job explaining, despite his own confusion and fluster from the sudden shift of reality he was hit with.

"Did we ever do happy things before I forgot?"

"Well yes, but we can do more happy things now, nothing has changed," Alfred smiled again, but more weakly this time. Things _had_ changed, like the fact that Alfred couldn't think of Matthew romantically anymore. He couldn't look at Matthew and want to kiss him like he used to, because Matthew was practically a child. Alfred wanted to be able to get over it, but he knew it would be hard to not love Matthew in a romantic way for the time being; or for the rest of their lives if Matthew was like this for that long.

"In fact, we can go do some happy things now!" Alfred smiled wide, "Do you like ice cream Matthew?"

"I don't know," Matthew said.

"Well how about we find out?" Alfred replied enthusiastically.

"Okay Alfred," Matthew grinned.

"Well wait a tick, we don't know if he can even leave the hospital yet, he just woke up!" Arthur commented.

"Yes, I'll have to discuss with the doctor whether Matthew can leave in this condition. He'll have to stay here at least for the night, so come back tomorrow and we'll see when you can take him home," said the nurse.

"But…Alfred…aren't you going to take me home?" said Matthew with tears in his eyes. It brought Alfred back to the orphanage, when one by one people came in looking to adopt, and plenty of children felt the worst disappointment a child could have when they weren't chosen. It was similar to the feeling of a dog or cat at an animal shelter, that no one was interested in taking home.

"Matthew…" Alfred 's look went soft, "I can't tonight because they still need to fix you up, but first thing tomorrow I'm going to see if I can take you home with me, okay?" he pet Matthew's still-bandaged head.

"Okay," Matthew replied, "But, Matthew will be so lonely tonight…" he added in third person.

Alfred sighed. He knew he wasn't allowed to stay the night at the hospital with Matthew. Then he remembered the present he'd bought for Matthew to give him when he woke up, and he left it in Arthur's car.

"Dad I need your keys real quick, I left something in the car!"

"Alfred, that's a bit rude! We're leaving in a moment anyways, you can get it then!" Arthur yelled.

"Dad please! It's for Matthew!"

"Oh let him get it!" Francis added.

"Fine," Arthur sighed and gave Alfred the keys from his pocket, "Hurry up then yeah?"

"Yeah Dad, thanks!" Alfred took the keys and bolted to the car.

"So Matthew," Francis began. Matthew turned to him and Francis leaned over and held one of Matthew's hands in both of his own from across the bed, "You are going to be staying with Alfred?"

"Oh yes!" Matthew beamed.

"Well is it okay if your Papa visits?" Francis smiled.

"Papa can visit whenever he wants!" Matthew sounded very excited.

"Good, good!" Francis was suddenly strangely happy and excited as well. Matthew acting this way made him feel the joy of having a young child again.

"Arthur can visit too right?" asked Francis.

"Yeah Arthur too!"

"Fantastic!" Arthur smiled.

"And I can see Alfred all the time!" Matthew giggled.

Arthur's smile wore off, "Matthew…Alfred still has to go to school every other day."

"School?" Matthew blinked with curiosity.

"Yes, on some days Alfred has school; but it's alright, because I'm sure Francis can watch you on the days Alfred is away," Arthur said simply.

"Oh…" Matthew said sadly.

"Hey guys," Alfred came in panting with something behind his back, "I'm back," he noticed Matthew's sad look when Matthew stood up, "What's wrong?" he said concerned.

Matthew ran to Alfred and hugged him tightly.

"What has gotten into you?" Alfred asked and hugged him back.

"Please don't go away to school! Matthew doesn't want you to go!" Matthew begged.

"What are you talking about?"

"I told him about how you have to stay at school on some days," Arthur admitted.

"Well, how about I just don't go? You know, until he gets better?"

"Alfred, that's unacceptable! We already figured that Francis could watch over him while you're gone," Arthur discussed.

Matthew shook his head wildly, "No, no!"

Alfred was very concerned, "Matthew," Alfred hugged him tighter with the gift behind Matthew's back, "I have to go to school or I'll get in trouble…I'm sorry…I don't want to leave you, but it's not forever, right?"

"R-right," Matthew nodded.

"Good!" Alfred smiled at him, "Now I have something for you so that you don't get lonely when I'm gone!" Alfred pulled a big, white stuffed bear from behind Matthew.

Matthew shouted with joy, "Alfred! Thank you, thank you! I love it Alfred! I love you!" Matthew hugged Alfred once again.

Alfred chuckled and, of course, returned the hug.

"What's his name?" Matthew asked excitedly.

"Well let's see the tag," Alfred said. He looked at the tag and read the name of the Japanese brand on the label, "Looks like it's…Koo-Muh-Jih-Roh?"

"Ku…ma…?"

"Well, you can just call it Kuma for short, 'kay?" suggested Alfred.

"Kuma's not a 'it', he's a boy," Matthew corrected him.

"Okay, okay! So you're going to have Kuma to keep you company tonight okay? And I'll see you first thing in the morning!'

"Right!" Matthew squeezed his new bear tightly in his arms, "I love you!" he said to the stuffed animal.

Alfred smiled.

"Alfred, I love you too!" Matthew shouted and hugged Alfred with Kuma between them.

Alfred smiled, "We have to go."

Matthew pouted and let go of Alfred, "Okay."

"The nurse should be back in here soon so you aren't alone," said Alfred.

"Matthew won't be alone! He has Kuma!" Matthew squeezed Kumajiro again.

"Okay Matthew," Alfred kissed the bandages on Matthew's forehead, "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Okay Alfred!" Matthew sat on his bed and pet Kumajiro, and Francis and Arthur stood up to go.

Francis went to Matthew and gave him a huge hug, lifting him up. Matthew provided many giggles and hugged Francis around his neck, lifting his legs up behind him before his father put him back down.

"Goodbye Matthew," Francis ruffled Matthew's hair that was free of the bandages.

Arthur gave Matthew a hug too, and smiled sadly to himself as he patted Matthew's back. Matthew nuzzled his head against Arthur's chest comfortably, and Arthur released him.

"Well, I'll see you soon Matthew," Arthur said smiling and walked out of the room. Francis followed after him.

"Bye Matthew!" Alfred smiled brightly and waved goodbye. He met the nurse again in the hallway and told her thank you for her work.

Arthur retrieved the keys from Alfred.

Francis walked over to his own car.

"See you later Francis," England smiled.

"Yeah, thanks for being here for all of this…" Francis thank him.

"Of course," Arthur responded.

"Oh, by the way son, the insurance company arranged for you to get a replacement car tomorrow," Arthur said while getting in the car. Alfred got into the back seat at the same time.

"Oh alright," was all he said. Now that he didn't have to wear a happy face in front of Matthew, his emotions were just beginning to overwhelm him.

"So I guess you don't need me to stay at your house now. Unless, you need help with Matthew, I suppose."

It was quiet for a moment.

"Alfred?" Arthur broke the silence. He checked on Alfred in the rear view mirror, who was leaning his head against the window and crying.

Arthur sighed. "Look," he said, glancing back at Alfred through the mirror once in a while, "This is tough…for all of us. But you're really good at staying strong when times are tough and you especially need to now."

"But this is different!" Alfred cried, "This is a nightmare! Oh God, I'm so confused – how could this happen? I didn't think these kinds of things could happen to me!"

"First of all, this isn't about you, Alfred. Stop being selfish or I won't let you take care of Matthew—"

"You can't do that! I'm a grown adult!"

"Whose father is paying for your way through college! Now if you don't stop thinking about yourself and start thinking about Matthew, then you'll never step up and take responsibility," Arthur informed his son.

Alfred was nearly sobbing, "I-I just need time to think and—"

"But we don't have time to sort things out!" argued Arthur, "Listen Alfred, do you love Matthew?"

"Of course!" Alfred choked with his sobbing.

"Alright, then put him above yourself. How do you thing this whole situation is for him huh?"

"Well…I didn't think about it," Alfred replied.

"Exactly, and you need to. He's probably more confused than you – he doesn't know what his life was previous to today; he doesn't know who we are; and hell, he knows almost nothing about himself! Have you even thought about that?"

"No…I've just been really hurt okay? I know you don't wanna hear it but, I'll never be able to love him the same way again. We'll never be able to have sex again. I feel like I've lost him altogether."

Arthur sighed, "Well you haven't. Yes, you might not be able to love him like a husband, but you can still love him all the same. And he loves you, I know he does. He's barely met you and he's crazy about you."

"How do you know?" Alfred asked as he raised his head.

"I can just see it. He's friendly with Francis and I, but he's absolutely intrigued by you. It's adorable in a way – he doesn't know what a big jerk you are," Arthur chuckled.

"You think so?" Alfred ignored the last words.

"I know so, son," Arthur smiled.

Alfred sighed. Arthur felt like he was talking some sense back into Alfred, since at least he wasn't crying anymore.

"Dad," Alfred said.

"Yes?"

"I'm scared."

"…Alfred, everything's gonna be alright."

Alfred had always wondered if whenever his father kept his chin up in tough times, whether it was a façade or if he truly was optimistic. He breathed in deeply, as if breathing in the chaotic thoughts around him to collect them and regain composure, and exhaled.

"Okay Dad."

"Good," Arthur said. He seemed exhausted just from his conversation with Alfred. Although, perhaps it was exhausting trying to put hope in someone else's heart while struggling to keep it in your own.

"We're here," Arthur said and parked the car in the driveway.

Alfred left the car without words and unlocked the door to the house. Arthur followed him and shut the door quietly behind him, locking it as always.

"Dad," began Alfred, "Thanks for all this. I…I think I can do it though, by myself you know? You've been a really help and you've kept me together. But you were right – I need to step up, so I know I can take care of Matthew by myself," he smiled, feeling just a bit prouder of himself.

Arthur smiled too, "I know you can too Alfred. I honestly don't think this will go on forever. I think Matthew will return back to normal, so don't worry so much about it okay?"

"I'll try," Alfred smiled sheepishly and shrugged.

"That's all I'm asking you to do – try," Arthur nodded.

"I don't need another lecture Dad," Alfred nervously replied. He didn't really like all of the drama and pep-talks he was suddenly getting. It made him nervous.

"All I'm saying is, whenever you try, you succeed. I don't know how you do it Alfred, you're just amazing at pulling through. That's what I meant when I said this is no different. You can pull through now too."

Of course Arthur had to add some typical uplifting statement, yet, behind all the awkwardness, his encouraging words really did make Alfred feel good.

Alfred smiled – a real smile. He had hope again, even if it was only a little.

* * *

**a/n: **this one was pretty hard to write for whatever reason but I hope it turned out alright :) please continue to read and review! Seeing the Story Alerts, Favorites, and Reviews for this story in my email makes me happy! Thanks!


	5. He Doesn't Know Any Better

**a/n: **Thanks for all the faves, alerts, and reviews once again! They really keep me going! enjoooooy~!

* * *

Alfred Jones couldn't sleep that night. He tried sleeping with the light on and hugging his pillow for comfort. He tried washing his face to make him feel ready to sleep. He even tried reading one of Matthew's books to make him tired. But the thoughts of Matthew that occupied his mind pushed out any desire to sleep. So at about three o clock in the morning, Alfred took a shower. It reminded him of Matthew, because Matthew always took such long showers. Alfred just wanted to relax and let the hot water wash everything away. When he got out of the shower, it was a little after five. He ate some leftover pizza from the fridge, not really because he was hungry but to pass the time. It only took up five minutes, so he needed to find something else to do. Video games? No way, not that early in the morning. Jogging? He wasn't the exercising type. After thinking, he figured he could do something worth-while and look for some old clothes he could throw out. So he went back upstairs into his room, took off the towel around his waist and threw it on the bed, and re-dressed into his pajamas. He went to the closet, opened the sliding mirror door, and briefly scanned the clothing articles which were mainly shirts. He'd forgotten that the hospital called a towing company to retrieve his car and Arthur had gotten their possessions from the trunk at the towing company's office. His father neatly hung up the clothes for their vacation and Alfred hadn't even said thank you, let alone notice he had done it. Aside from that, he moved some hangers here and there, and at the very end of the closet, he saw he and Matthew's wedding suits. Alfred paused, and for no particular reason pulled the suits out of the closet. He figured it wouldn't hurt to try it on, so that's what he did. He turned around and leaned in every which way, checking himself from every angle.

"Hm," he thought aloud. Matthew was right – Alfred really did prefer to dress lazy. He shrugged and started unbuttoning the suit, when he looked down at Matthew's. He started remembering moments at the wedding that, honestly, he didn't want to remember at the time. He remembered how Matthew giggled when Alfred was stuffing his face with the cake, and how Matthew smiled nervously when Al stepped on him – multiple times – during their dance, and he remembered when they were getting pictures taken and Matthew would nudge him and tell him to politely pay attention. It made him think about how he had all these flaws, and Matthew responded to these flaws with a giggle, smile, or polite gesture. Yet, now Matthew had this newly created flaw, and Alfred responded with frustration, depression, and an estranged attitude. Alfred, for the first time, realized how flawed he really was, yet never had Matthew criticized him for those flaws. Alfred felt awful for nearly giving up hope on Matthew and questioning whether he wanted to take care of him or not just because of Matthew's one new flaw that couldn't even be controlled. He sat on the bed and let his silent tears fall onto his well-treated suit pants. He felt like an awful husband, and, even though his emotions were exaggerating his opinions and thoughts, he felt like he'd come very close to abandoning Matthew. Being a child that was adopted, Alfred thought of abandonment as the worst thing you could do to a person. He clutched onto Matthew's suit as he held back hiccups.

"Alfred?" Arthur called from the doorway. Alfred, startled, whirled his head around to see his father. When Arthur saw his son's tear-dampened face he sighed, although he _had_ half-expected Alfred to be in tears.

"It's hard…" Alfred said, struggling not to gasp or choke.

Arthur walked over to Alfred and sat on the bed next to him.

"I know," he said and rubbed Alfred's back with one hand. He placed his other hand on Alfred's, trying to loosen his grip on Matthew's nice suit.

"It won't be hard forever…I promise you'll get through this soon."

"I keep promising myself the same thing but I still can't shake the doubt Dad," Alfred replied and tried to wipe his eyes.

"Here," Arthur wiped Alfred's face dry with his own sleeve, "Please don't ruin your wedding suit with snot and tears," he chuckled.

"I know, I'm sorry," Alfred apologized.

"Have you slept at all last night?" Arthur asked concerned. He noticed the creases around Alfred's eyes.

"No…I just couldn't."

"Come on, let's try again," Arthur smiled, "Get out of this suit, put it away, and crawl into bed."

Arthur sat on the bed facing the other way until Alfred put on his pajamas and got back in bed.

"Alfred…" Arthur said out loud when Alfred lay down in bed, "You're really going to hurt yourself if you keep this up. Are you going to cry yourself to sleep every morning?" Arthur asked. He pet his son's hair, running his fingers along Alfred's scalp soothingly. Alfred finally closed his eyes for more than a blink.

"You're okay Alfred. How many times do I need to send the message? Stop worrying, you really don't need that right now. And you know…I was wrong when I said this isn't about you. It has just as much to do with you as it does with Matthew…. I know you must be hurting right now…but you know what? Be thankful. Be thankful that you still have Matthew. When my wife died…it was hard for me to understand that I couldn't still have her back. But, you still have Matthew, Alfred. And he might even be able to return to normal. So, be thankful," Arthur continued petting Alfred's hair, when he realized he was already sleeping.

"When did…? Oh well," Arthur sighed and pulled the blanket over Alfred.

"Sleep well, son."

**(A few hours later)**

"Psst," Arthur shook Alfred's shoulder gently, "Alfred, wake up."

"Nnnnnnngh," Alfred groaned.

"It's time to go," Arthur said, "Aren't you going to see Matthew first thing in the morning like you said?"

Alfred threw off the covers and jumped out of bed, still a little dazed, "Glasses," he said looking around.

"On the table."

"Oh yeah," Alfred replied and grabbed them off of the bedside table, putting them over his eyes. "Uhh…" he couldn't quite figure out what to do next.

"Should you get dressed?" Arthur raised an eyebrow.

"Right, right," Alfred started getting out of his pajamas and Arthur left the room.

"Come down when you're finished cleaning up," he said.

Alfred dressed, brushed his teeth, and combed his hair in a hurry. He went downstairs and put on his shoes.

"Alright so I'll drive you to pick up your car and then you're on your own," Arthur looked Alfred in the eyes to make sure he knew what he was getting himself into.

"Right," Alfred said to him with a cool smile.

Arthur sighed, half with worry, half with content, and they left. Alfred picked up his replacement car and Arthur drove to his own house, leaving Alfred to pick up Matthew on his own. Alfred drove to the hospital and went to see Matthew, hoping it was okay to take him home by now. He met the nurse outside Matthew's room door.

"Yes, Matthew is able to go home now," she smiled, "But his wounds are still not completely healed, obviously, so you need to be very careful. Here are some bandages you'll need, you can find more at any drug store."

"Oh, alright," Alfred shrugged and took the metal tin full of various bandages, "So, we just…go home now?"

"Yes?"

"That's it? Does he have to come in every once in a while or something?"

"Not if everything goes smoothly," the nurse replied, "But if Matthew returns to normal we'd really like to know," she smiled.

"Oh, okay then," Alfred returned the smile, "Oh, and what about his clothes?"

"You didn't bring him an extra pair? The clothes he arrived in were torn apart, so we discarded them," said the nurse.

"Oh…" Alfred blushed in embarrassment, feeling stupid that he didn't think to bring clothes for Matthew, "He can wear the robe then, right?"

"Well if he has no other clothes, then of course," she looked at him confused, like she didn't understand his stupidity.

"Ah, right…well, thanks for…I dunno, being a nurse," he thanked her nervously.

"It's what I do," she smiled and returned to her work.

Alfred walked into Matthew's room. He was scared, anxious, and nervous, but he covered it with a smile.

"Hey Matthew! Are you ready to go?"

Matthew beamed. He knew Alfred was coming soon, but he was still surprised. "Alfred, Alfred!" he ran to hug his caretaker and friend.

Alfred laughed and hugged Matthew, petting his hair gently. He noticed that the bandage around his head was removed, and they had washed Matthew's hair of the blood.

"What is Alfred doing?" asked Matthew curiously. He didn't know what kind of gesture "petting" was.

"Well, I don't know, making you feel protected," Alfred replied.

"Why?"

"I-I don't know, I'm sorry," Alfred released Matthew. He was already getting nervous around Matthew and really needed to think before any move he made.

"Oh, it's okay!" Matthew smiled sweetly.

"Oh…well are you ready to go?" Alfred asked.

"Yes! But I don't know if Kuma is," Matthew wondered. He walked over to Kuma and asked him, "Kuma, are you ready to go?" and he nodded after waiting for Kuma's pretend reply, "Kuma's ready too!"

Alfred was still unsettled about Matthew acting this way. There were things Matthew did to make him smile, but for the most part this was all foreign to Alfred and he didn't know how to react emotionally. He felt weird and nervous talking to Matthew, and just uncomfortable in general watching Matthew speak and do things.

"Okay, so Kuma is all you need, right? Let's go then," Alfred managed to smile back despite his strange feelings.

Matthew just smiled and followed Alfred.

"Alfred?"

"Yes Matthew?"

"When am I gonna see Papa?" Matthew asked as he walked cheerily.

"Actually, tomorrow," Alfred remembered he had school the next day, "He'll come to the house to watch you while I'm at school."

"Okay!" Matthew replied giddily, "Alfred?"

"Yes?"

"What's your house like?"

"It's _our_ house Matthew, and you'll see when we get there," he replied.

"Oh," Matthew said, "Alfred?"

Geez he had a lot of questions, "Yeah?" Alfred replied, getting out his keys as they walked towards Alfred's car.

"You're my _best_ friend, right?"

Alfred turned at stared at Matthew concerned – of course he was Matthew's best friend! If that's all they could be for now. "Yes Matthew, of course!" Alfred exclaimed and hugged Matthew with all the strength he could without hurting him. He didn't want Matthew to feel unloved one bit. "Get in on that side okay?"

"Okay," Matthew walked around to the passenger's side door, "but what about Kuma?"

"Just put him in the back seat I guess."

"Okay," Matthew did as told and got in the front seat. He watched Alfred put on his seatbelt and copied him. "Oh," he began, "Kuma can't put it on by himself!"

"What?" Alfred aksed, "Oh the seatbelt? Well he doesn't need one," he started the car.

"Well, then Matthew doesn't need one either," Matthew said in protest. He wanted to remove his, but didn't know how.

'Where did he already get that smart attitude?' Alfred thought with furrowed eyebrows. "Yes, you do, because you can get hurt and Kuma can't."

"H-hurt?" Matthew cowered, "How?"

Alfred knew exactly how because he was living it right then, "I just don't want you to get hurt okay? Please leave your seatbelt on," he began driving.

"Okay…" Matthew didn't like Alfred's tone.

"Look Matt, I—"

"Matt?" Matthew was confused. Who was Matt?

"Oh, that's short for Matthew. It's your nickname," he smiled.

"Matthew has two names?" he looked astonished.

Alfred chuckled, "I guess so, yes."

"Oh."

"I have a nickname too," Alfred added, "Before, you used to call me Al," he still wore his smile.

"Oh, Al? Al…that's a good name, I like it!" Matthew nodded with enthusiasm.

"Good!" Alfred laughed.

For the rest of the ride home, Alfred let Matthew look out of his window with curiosity. He was still new to – well, everything. They arrived home and Alfred had to show Matthew to press the red button to unbuckle the seatbelt, at which Matthew released another curious "oh". Matthew retrieved Kumajiro and followed Alfred inside.

"…Whoa…" Matthew said, amazed at the "hugeness" of the house. It actally wasn't very big at all, but Matthew sure thought so.

Alfred smiled, "Whadya think?"

"It's so big…" Matthew replied with his mouth hung open.

"I hope you like it here, this is our home Matthew," Alfred said warmly.

"Home?" Matthew repeated.

"Yes," Alfred replied and hugged Matthew with the stuffed bear between them.

"Alfred?" Matthew asked.

"What is it?" he asked while holding Matthew.

"Why does Alfred hug me so much?" Matthew asked curiously.

Alfred loosened his hold, but Matthew just hugged him tighter.

"W-well, because I love you Matthew."

"Oh, I love you too!" Matthew squeezed Alfred with all his might. As far as he could fathom, Alfred and he just loved each other as friends. So Matthew learned that this was the way to show friendship.

Alfred let go of Matthew though. He knew he seriously had to get a grip on himself.

"You should get dressed," Alfred suggested, "C'mon, I'll show you where."

"Alright Alfred," Matthew smiled. He couldn't sense Alfred's frustration.

"Here is the bedroom; you can get dressed in here okay?" Alfred shut the door.

"Wait, Alfred…what does Matthew do?" Matthew didn't know how to really "get dressed".

"Oh…uhh…I'll help you this once, but from now on you gotta do it yourself, 'kay?" Alfred said nervously.

"Okay Alfred," he smiled.

Alfred pulled out some clothing from the closet for Matthew to wear and laid it on the bed.

"O-okay…so, take your robe thing off please," he asked of Matthew apprehensively.

"Okay Alfred," Matthew put Kumajiro on the bed and removed his only clothing article – which he assumed was his "robe thing" – also putting it on the bed. If he really did have the mind of a child, then he was the most obedient child Alfred had ever known. After all, it seemed to Alfred the only two words Matthew ever said were "okay" and "Alfred". If that's not obedience, then there's no such thing.

Alfred saw the tons of bandages on Matthew's torso and abdomen. Large and small, wrapped around and stuck on. He felt so ashamed, and kept thinking about how the incident was entirely his fault.

"Alfred?"

"Oh, yeah?"

"What now?" Matthew asked politely.

"Oh, um how about you put the shirt on? It's this one," Alfred lifted it up.

Matthew took the shirt and put his head through first. After that he was lost.

"Here," Alfred took the shirt off, "Put both of your arms up."

Matthew did as told. Alfred put the shirt over Matthew so his arms went through first, then his head, and it slipped right on.

"Oh wow!" Matthew exclaimed.

Alfred gave Matthew the boxers, "C-could you do these by yourself? Pull them over your legs, with the tag in the back."

Matthew was puzzled, but managed to figure it out after a good minute.

"Good, now do the same thing with these pants," Alfred directed.

"Oh I get it!" said Matthew, and he put the pants on easily.

"Good job!" Alfred smiled meekly.

"What do we do now?"

"Well we have the whole day ahead of us…let's start with breakfast 'kay?" Alfred suggested.

"Alrighty!" Matthew replied. He always had short, simple replies. Alfred noted this.

They went downstairs and Alfred poured them both a bowl of cereal each. Matthew started eating it dry with his fingers, until Alfred poured milk in and gave them each a spoon. Matthew watched Alfred's every move intently, learning to hold the spoon, scoop the food, and put it in his mouth. When they finished, Alfred didn't really know what to do for the rest of the day.

"Alfred, I'm bored."

'How does he even know what bored means?' Alfred thought.

"Do we always live in this house? What was all the stuff Matthew saw on the way?" Matthew asked.

'Oh, he means all the stuff he saw while looking out the window on our way here…' Alfred thought to himself, "We can go outside, if that's what you want. Do you want to drive around town?"

"Oh yes!" Matthew said with joy.

"Well I don't see why not," Alfred smiled, "But we have to be careful because your body is still hurt; so just don't do a lot of runnin' around and stuff…."

"Oh I won't Alfred!" Matthew shook his head with exaggeration.

Alfred chuckled, "Okay, let's go."

Matthew gazed at all the buildings and people. Sometimes he read street names and building signs out loud. Whenever he saw someone walking a dog or one of those advertisers twirling their signs he got especially excited.

"You know, I know a good place we can go for you to see different people and places," Alfred said. They drove to the mall and Matthew was bewildered at all the stores inside. There were shops for clothes, electronics, food, collectibles, household items, jewelry, and everything else. He wanted to go in every single one, but one especially caught his attention with the delectable aroma it released as they walked by.

"What's in _there_?" Matthew asked.

"Oh, that's a candy store. They have loooooots of chocolate. You want some?" Alfred asked with a smile.

"Yes!" Matthew shouted.

"Here's a sample," an employee offered when they went in, "It's our Maple Pecan truffle, only for this season."

Matthew bit half of it and his world turned upside down.

"Oh my goodness!" he shouted loudly, attracting attention from the employees and customers alike, "Alfred it's so good!"

The woman that gave him the sample raised an eyebrow at Alfred.

"I-I'm sorry, he has a condition!" Alfred explained and grabbed Matthew's wrist, walking quickly out of the store.

"Alfred?" Matthew wondered why they had to leave.

"It's nothing Matt, let's just go look around okay?"

"Oh…alright Alfred…" Matthew was a little saddened and could tell Alfred was upset, "Alfred you're hurting me," Matthew whimpered quietly.

"I'm sorry Matthew!" Alfred released Matthew's wrist from his grip and looked at it to make sure it was alright. "Wanna go try on some clothes? I can buy you some," Alfred smiled apologetically once he was sure Matthew's wrist was okay.

Matthew shook his head.

"Okay, want to look at…" Alfred said the first store he saw, "jewelry?" but then he realized that was a stupid choice.

"Ooh," Matthew began.

"No wait we should go somewhere else," Alfred corrected himself. The mention of jewelry drew his attention to Matthew's hand. It was the first time he noticed Matthew still had on his wedding ring. Alfred smiled, "We don't need to look at that stuff Matt, it's mostly for girls. How about we walk around some more and see what we find?"

"Okay, I like walking around with you, Alfred."

"I see," Alfred smiled nervously at Matthew's strangely serious tone. They walked towards the other end of the mall until Matthew spotted something he couldn't pass up.

"What?" Matthew exclaimed, running towards the toy store. He pressed his hands up on the glass display window, "Alfred look!" he yelled and ran inside.

"M-Matthew!" Alfred ran after him. When he went in he saw Matthew hugging one of the stuffed polar bears to death. It was the same kind Alfred bought him.

"They have Kuma!" Matthew said sadly, "How did he get here?"

"Matthew, that's—"

"Oh my gosh and they have tons of Kuma babies!" said Matthew as he laid his eyes on the wall of smaller-sized Kumajiro brand stuffed polar bears.

"Matthew keep it down!"

"Alfred…you took Kuma away from his babies?" Matthew's eyes teared up.

Alfred could barely hold the urge to burst into laughter at the adorable statement.

"Excuse me," said the cashier with an irritated attitude, "Could you please keep it down?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, he has a condition—"

"I don't care about your excuse; you're acting like careless teenagers. You're grown adults so please use your _inside voices_ or leave." She said "inside voices" as if she was talking to kindergartners.

"D-did Matthew do something bad?" Matthew was nearly in tears due to the cashier scolding him.

"Look _lady_, he doesn't know any better! And aren't you supposed to treat all your customers with respect? Sheesh!" Alfred grabbed the polar bear from Matthew's hands, sat it back with the others, took Matthew's hand and stormed out of the shop. By this time Matthew was crying, although it took Alfred a moment to realize it since he was so quiet.

"Matthew," Alfred sighed. He didn't know what to say. Matthew squeezed Alfred's hand tighter as he tried not to cry loudly, and Alfred actually realized he was holding Matthew's hand in a public place. Before the accident, public affection was off limits for Matthew. He tried to take his hand away, but Matthew only squeezed it tighter.

"Do you just want to go home?" Alfred asked.

Matthew nodded without looking at Alfred. They left the mall hurriedly, getting a few strange glances along the way. Matthew cried the whole ride home. When they got there, Alfred got the shower ready for Matthew and let him take a long time relaxing. He replaced Matthew's bandages and let Matthew get dressed by himself back into the clothes he was already wearing. Matthew took an afternoon nap and for the rest of the day he and Alfred just talked. They talked about what it was like going to college for Alfred and what kind of people there were at his school, which raised the topic of what kind of people there are in the world. Alfred explained to Matthew, and, in reality, to himself, that not everybody is going to understand Matthew and not everybody is going to be nice. Throughout the conversation, Matthew gave Alfred a lot of "why's", most of which Alfred couldn't thoroughly answer, but he did his best explaining. In the end, Matthew understood that he couldn't be loud and friendly around everybody and that he had to ask before running off and doing something. As for Alfred, he learned that taking care of Matthew was already harder than he thought, and that if he wanted to prove his responsibility, he had to do a better job of introducing Matthew to the world.

* * *

**a/n: **Alfred goes to school next chapter :3 I'm sorry if this one seemed a little rushed towards the end :( thanks for reading! And thanks for the reviews! They mean so much!


	6. When Someone Loves You

**a/n: **Sorry the last chapter was bleh and kinda pointless :P well, I don't know if you thought so, but to me it seemed like every five sentences I had writer's block :( an awful disease it is…well I hope this chapter goes much more smoothly :) enjoy, and thank you so much for the reviews! They mean everything to me!

PS: OMG I just read the nicest reviews ever! ;U; I'm glad my story has made people cry or come close to it, and I'm really glad someone laughed about the Kuma babies x3 And THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to the anon who left the kinda long and very awesome review that said so many nice things! That made my WEEK! It's really heartwarming that people like this story so much even though I'm still an amateur, so thank you! (and by the way I do try very hard to have correct spelling and grammar, so thank you ;u;)

* * *

That night, Alfred told Matthew to sleep on the bed while he slept on the couch downstairs. Matthew was scared to sleep alone, so Alfred sat on the bed until Matthew fell asleep. He tucked Kumajiro under Matthew's arm and went downstairs with a pillow to sleep on the sofa. He set the alarm on his phone to wake up for school the next morning. He worried about how Matthew would get along while he was away.

Alfred awoke, not to his alarm, but to Francis knocking on the front door.

"Wha…?" he mumbled before rolling off the couch with a loud thud. He got up, rubbing the shoulder he fell on, and unlocked and opened the door for Francis.

"You're here early…" groaned Alfred. He closed the door after his guest walked in.

"Well why were you still sleeping? Shouldn't you be dressed by now?" Francis queried.

"Meh, I got time."

Francis scoffed, "Ten minutes, yes."

"Whatever, I'll grab my clothes from Matt's room and dress in the bathroom; and thanks for coming over to watch him," Alfred cringed at the strangeness of the statement. It was so foreign and uncomfortable that Francis had to _babysit_ Matthew. Alfred just hated this situation from every angle. Matthew had only been out of the hospital for a day and Alfred was already sick of not having his husband.

"Of course. So he's asleep?" Francis asked, following Alfred up the stairs.

"Yeah, he's in here," Alfred answered and opened the door to the bedroom quietly. He gently stepped through to the closet and pulled out a shirt, then to the dresser and grabbed some underwear, pants, and socks.

Francis sat on the bed and chuckled when he looked at Matthew, who was curled up with Kuma and had drool threatening to fall from the corner of his mouth. "He sleeps just like he used to when he was just a kid," Francis noted.

"Surprisingly, he normally sleeps that way," Alfred smiled, "Curled up like that, and drooling all over me…" he sighed.

"No need to be sad, it's cute don't you think? You should just enjoy the peace. Like you said, he normally sleeps this way. So you should be happy to have this one moment of normalcy when he's sleeping. Don't turn it into something you need to sigh about, oui?" Francis smiled casually.

Alfred laughed, "Since when did you have words of wisdom for me?"

"Will you just take my advice?"

"I'm sorry?" Alfred said confused.

"At the wedding," Francis explained, "I gave you advice to cherish everything. Well just because this accident happened doesn't mean you have to stop appreciating the good things. Instead of letting everything depress you, just think back about my advice. You'll really see the brighter side of things if you remember to cherish everything you can. Understand?" asked his father-in-law.

"I guess I understand," Alfred shrugged.

"Yeah well if you don't understand, then start soon."

Alfred raised an eyebrow, "Thanks?" he said before leaving to the bathroom. Francis left the room and cracked the door open an inch or two. He went downstairs and spent a few minutes configuring the television set while Alfred got dressed. When Alfred finished getting ready, he threw his dirty laundry in a hamper in the hallway and made his way downstairs.

"Alright, I'm off," Alfred said as he grabbed his keys and book bag.

"Have a good day then," Francis waved.

"Francis, please take good care of him," Alfred said resolutely.

"What happened to my goofy son-in-law? Why do you have to be so serious all the sudden? Take it easy, oui?"

"Sure, sure. Sorry about that. Thanks for this, bye!" Alfred left.

"Since when did he get all uneasy?" Francis said to himself as he flipped through the channels.

**(Alfred arrives at school)**

Lucky for Alfred, there wasn't a lot of traffic that morning, so he made it to campus on time. He was even luckier to have found a parking spot. He grabbed his book bag and went to his first class, English. He liked having English in the morning. He went to a university, so it was a large class and the teacher didn't really care what you did. The class was easy-going, except on the days he had to write an essay. He did have a journal entry to write every English session, but he always bullshitted the response. He was used to having math early in the day in high school and his first years of college, so he enjoyed having a class in which he wasn't expected to think in the morning.

"Alright so—" the teacher began, "Hey can you be quiet so people in the back can hear?" he directed to a couple of talkative young students, "Thanks. So, the journal for today is up on the board: _Have you ever changed your relationship with someone because they or you had changed? _What it basically means is when you're friends with someone or in a relationship, and over time the other person changes or you change. Since they or you changed, you see them differently and the relationship isn't what it was before. It could be a good or bad thing. For example, you're best friends with someone since middle school, but as you grow up you realize that they aren't growing up and that they're a total lazy, irresponsible dirt bag so you aren't really friends anymore. Or in another case, you could have a girlfriend or boyfriend and over time things get serious and you want to take it to the next level. So this journal topic could be good or bad, however you interpret it. Due in a couple minutes guys so get to it.

Alfred deduced the journal topic a little differently than the teacher had intended. Someone that he knew did change, and that definitely changed their relationship. Alfred was hesitant to write something so personal to his English professor, but it's not like he actually read the student's papers anyway. Besides, Alfred couldn't get the thought out of his head, so what did he have to lose?

_Have you ever changed your relationship with someone because they or you had changed? Recently, I got into a car accident with my husband in the passenger's seat. He was hurt very badly, and put into a coma. Just the other day he woke up, and the nurse told us that he has amnesia and he's in the mental state of a child. I'm happy that I have him back, but I don't know how to feel now that he's changed. I'm scared, confused, and angry at myself. This change in him has absolutely changed our relationship. I can't love him as a husband anymore; I have to treat him like I would a child. I don't know what to do. I don't know whether he'll ever go back to normal. I have more questions than answers and the hardest part is that I have to figure out the answers on my own – if there even are answers. To answer the journal simply: yes, my relationship with someone has changed because they themselves changed._

His writing was sloppy towards the end because the teacher told them to turn in their paragraphs before he was done. He didn't have time to rethink his decision about turning in that paper before he hurriedly passed it forward, but he didn't really care. He was just glad to get it his emotions onto the paper. After writing that paragraph, Alfred just couldn't stop thinking of how Matthew was getting along.

Back at the house, Matthew finally woke up. He was immediately upset that Alfred was gone. He jumped out of bed and ran downstairs, when he saw Francis on the couch watching the cooking channel.

"Papa, where's Alfred?" Matthew worried while squeezing Kumajiro tightly.

"Oh, he's at school Matthew. You knew that already didn't you?" Francis replied; not turning his head from the television.

"B-but, he's gone already? I didn't even say goodbye!" he whined.

"Matthew calm down, he'll be back in about three hours or so," reasoned Francis.

"That's so long! Why did he go without saying goodbye?" Matthew cried.

"Really Matthew, that's uncalled for," Francis stood up and hugged Matthew to calm him down.

"Leave me alone!" Matthew pushed his father away, "I want Alfred! Why did he leave before telling Matthew goodbye?" he demanded.

"M-Matthew!" Francis was astonished at his son's sudden aggression, and especially at his apathy towards his own father, "He had to get to school on time and didn't want to wake you up! And you can't just push people like that! You need to go upstairs and learn your lesson," he punished Matthew.

"B-but…I…."

"There's no excuse. You won't learn what you did wrong unless you're punished. Now go to your room and think about why it's wrong to push people and disrespect your parent."

"Papa, I'm—"

Francis felt bad for punishing Matthew, but knew he had to learn what he did wrong, "I don't want to hear it! Now go upstairs, please."

Matthew just pouted with tears in his eyes and stormed up the stairs, slamming his bedroom door. He flopped onto he and Alfred's mattress and poured his eyes out onto the pillow. Holding Kumajiro tightly to his chest, all he repeated in his mind was "Alfred, come home".

English class had just ended for Alfred. He was making his way out with the other sixty or so students when the professor pulled him aside.

"Hey, Alfred," he began, "I read your journal; is everything alright?"

'Wow he actually read the damn thing?' Alfred thought to himself. "Uhh yeah, everything's alright. Just in a rough spot but I'll pull through."

"You sure? It sounds serious, what you're going through. You know if you need someone to talk to I'll always be willing to help," the teacher offered with concern.

"No man really, it's fine. I get enough pep talks from my dad," Alfred laughed nervously, gripping his book bag's sling.

"Alright then," the teacher smiled with apprehension.

"Thanks though," Alfred said and walked into the hallway. He sighed with relief when he left the room. He didn't really want to talk to anyone, not even his friends, about what was going on with Matthew. He made his way to his next class, Algebra. Yes, he was in a low level math class, seeing as he was in his third year of college. It was partially because he was no good at math; but mainly due to the fact that he never did the homework. He had horrible work ethic, leaving his father to wonder how he and Matthew could afford to live in a decent two-story house. All Alfred did throughout the whole period was doodle on the binder paper that was meant for notes. Alfred sat in the front where the professor could see him, but the teacher really wasn't the type to interrupt a lesson just for one careless student. So Alfred scribbled away – doodling little fashionable stick figures of him and Matthew holding hands and other sickneningly cutesy stuff. At the end of the gruesomely long lesson, Alfred threw away his ink-covered paper and made his way to his last class of the day.

Francis heard Matthew bawling for at least half an hour in his room. Once Matthew finally did stop crying, Francis assumed he was asleep. He sighed and looked through the different TV channels. He started digging a little deeper into the channels and stumbled upon the adult section. With a "_why not?_" attitude, he selected porn with a title as cheesy as all the others, if not more. He lied back on the couch, putting his feet up, and found that he was getting a little sleepy himself. Matthew heard unfamiliar noises coming from outside the room. He wiped his eyes and got up off the bed, putting his ear up against the door to hear. He blushed at the strange noises, but didn't know why he felt flustered. He was curious, and quietly opened his bedroom door. Matthew peeked down the stairs and saw that Francis was asleep, so he felt it was safe to see what the noise was. He tiptoed over to his papa and looked at his face closely to make sure he was asleep, and confirmed this inference when he heard the man lightly snoring. Matthew turned his attention to the TV and let out a small "Eep!" Francis shifted in his sleep and it startled Matthew, so he snuck behind the couch and watched from there. He watched, not for entertainment, but for the sake of curiosity. His eyes were wide and his mouth slightly agape. _What were they doing and why? _Matthew didn't know what to think. He didn't know why they were making such weird noises or why they were naked. He was blushing the whole time and had no idea why he was, since he didn't even know what was going on. Maybe it was the fact that they were naked, and in close – _very _close – contact that he was embarrassed and nervous. He paid very close attention the whole time; he couldn't help it. In the end, the man and the woman were panting; the woman said "I love you," and the man said "I love you too." Matthew blinked with his mouth still ajar. He felt like he came to a sudden realization or awakening of sorts. _This is what you do…when someone loves you? _ That was the conclusion Matthew came to.

Francis shifted again in sleeping, and that time Matthew decided it would be best to go back to his room. He lay in his bed, and thought as deeply as he could about what he just watched. His mind was still in shallow water though, as he knew barely anything about the scene; but his thoughts kept circling back to his previous conclusion: _This is what you do when someone loves you._

Alfred took a seat. His last class of the day was American Government. He usually enjoyed the class – it was one of his favorite subjects – but today he just couldn't focus. He tried to follow the notes, but all he could do was look up at the projector screen, down to his paper, back to the screen, and back down to his paper; unable to write down anything substantial. The teacher, while most of the students were jotting down notes, approached Alfred.

"Hey," he whispered with concern, "What's up with you today? I noticed you've seemed a bit down for a couple weeks now, but today you look even worse."

"Uh," Alfred said quietly back, "Just having a bad day…or I guess a bad month," he sighed.

"Why? What's wrong?"

"I…" Alfred was tempted to let it all out, but he probably would've had an emotional fit, "I don't want to talk about it."

The teacher was worried, but understood. "You want to go home early?"

"No, I'm fine; I just don't see how I'm going to last even a week being away from home if I can barely last today…."

"Well whatever's got you bothered, I hope you can get past it soon," his teacher smiled fretfully.

Alfred wanted to say that it's not something he could simply get past, but he didn't want to over complicate the talk. He merely smiled back, and the teacher returned to the instruction. At the end of class, Alfred hurried out to his car so he could get home to Matthew as soon as possible. Even though he was thoroughly depressed by the situation, he really did miss his husband regardless.

Francis woke up and changed the TV back to the cooking channel before his son's husband came back; then he went upstairs to check on Matthew. He knocked on the door with the back of his hand and opened it. Matthew's head darted up – he expected Alfred.

"Matthew?" Francis said as he opened the door.

Matthew frowned, "Go away."

Francis sighed, "Matthew…."

"Please get out!" Matthew shouted when Francis didn't leave at his first request.

"Matthew! You have no reason to yell at me! You just spent the entire day in here because you disrespected me and now you're at it again! Haven't you learned?" Francis retorted.

"I just want you to leave me alone!" was Matthew's reply.

Francis sighed again, "I came in here for a reason so I'm not just going to leave you alone. I wanted to tell you that Alfred is coming home soon and I'm leaving."

"Alfred?" Matthew's eyes lit up. Francis was hurt by the fact that Matthew didn't care he was leaving.

"Oui, so I guess I'll be going," Francis said and left the room.

Matthew thought about how exciting it would be when Alfred walked through the door, and the thought made him anxious. He went downstairs to go sit on the couch and wait for Alfred as Francis was putting on his shoes. He just about left when he realized Matthew hadn't eaten all day.

"Oh, Matthew, are you hungry?" Francis asked concerned – as frustrated as he was.

Matthew was nervous talking to his father because anything they said to eachother started a quarrel, but he _was_ starving. "Yeah I guess so…."

"What do you want?" Francis said as he searched through the cupboards. "Mon Dieu, what the hell do you eat around here? These cupboards are practically empty!"

Matthew went into the kitchen and looked in the cupboards as well, "Nuh uh!" he shook his head, "We have mac 'n cheese!" He reached up to grab the box of macaroni and cheese.

"…_Really_? _This_ is what Alfred feeds you?" Francis groaned.

"It's good!" Matthew pouted.

"Okay I'll boil you some water," Francis smiled indifferently as he got out a pot and filled it with tap water. He then sat it on the lit stove and Matthew went to lay on the couch.

"Matthew, can't I talk to you?"

Matthew turned the other way to face the inside of the couch.

"Son?"

When Francis called him that, it made Matthew feel a bit guilty. He had nearly forgotten Francis was his father. After all, he technically barely knew Francis.

"What Papa?"

It made Francis a little warmer hearing Matthew call him his papa again.

"I just want to talk to you about earlier. I'm very concerned because you got upset so easily. It was over something so…so silly that I don't even really remember how it started! I'm just worried about you. You miss Alfred so badly already and you've barely been here two days, but he's going to have to go to school almost every day! How are you going to get along while he's at school? Are you going to throw a fit every day and pout in your room? It's not sensible. And you know what the main issue here is? All I was trying to do earlier was ask you to calm down because you were already getting upset, and you completely disrespected me and yelled at me for no reason. Why did you do that?" Francis tried his hardest to talk softly.

Matthew, whose eyes were watery with frustration, didn't say a word back. Instead he silently reviewed Francis's points and tried to see what he did wrong and what he could say or do. While he thought and Francis awaited a reply, Alfred unlocked and came through the door.

Matthew gasped, "Alfred?" he virtually jumped off the couch and ran to Alfred. Alfred sat his book bag and keys on the arm of the couch and was welcomed home in Matthew's embrace.

"Do…do you have tears in your eyes?" Alfred asked, "What happened?" he directed to his father-in-law.

"Well early this morning he immediately threw a fit because you weren't here. He shoved me so I sent him upstairs and he's been up there all day. Then when I went to talk to him and he got upset all over again. He gets extremely over dramatic about you being gone – he could barely handle you being away for three hours," Francis sighed.

Alfred sighed right along with him, "I kind of expected this," he said as he pet Matthew's hair, "I couldn't concentrate at all in my classes today…. Matthew?"

He looked up at Alfred and Alfred pulled away.

"Matt, I think you owe someone an apology; don't you?" Alfred nodded.

Matthew looked down in indignity and turned towards Francis. "I'm sorry Papa…."

"For?" Francis raised an eyebrow.

"F-for pushing you…and yelling at you…" Matthew took a few steps towards his father and hugged him apologetically, "I'm sorry Papa."

Francis smiled, "It's okay, I forgive you. I'm going to go now Alfred. Oh I started to boil some water for macaroni and cheese for Matthew as dinner, so make sure to finish making that," Francis said. He kissed Matthew on the head, grabbed his keys from the coffee table and opened the door to leave.

"Thanks so much for watching him today Francis," Alfred said.

"No problem," Francis smiled in return, "I'll see you some other time Matthew! Goodbye!" he said as he left. Matthew waved him goodbye.

"Hey Matthew, can you add the noodles to the water? Just open the box, take out the cheese packet, and pour in the noodles okay?" Alfred asked.

"Okay Al!" Matthew beamed and went into the kitchen. Alfred took a seat on the couch and took out his cell phone to call his father.

"Hello?" Arthur answered after a few rings.

"Hey Dad."

"Oh, hi Alfred. What's going on?"

"Well, I went to school today and Francis watched Matthew as planned. It didn't go so well…I couldn't think about anything but Matt at school, and here at the house he was throwing a fit and arguing with Francis…."

"Well what do you want me to do?" Arthur replied.

"Nothing, just…I'm not going back Dad. I can't go back to school while Matt's like this; it's just a mess," said Alfred.

"Alfred you're schooling is important!"

"But Matthew's more important! I can't have him upset every day! And I can't even get any work done in class, so there's no point. It'll probably only be for a little while, you know?" Alfred tried to reason.

Arthur exhaled, "Just do what you think is best Alfred."

"Thanks Dad," Alfred smiled even though his father couldn't see it.

"Well don't thank me, it's not like you needed my permission."

"Just take the thank you, Dad."

"Sure, sure. I'll talk to you later okay Al?" Arthur said.

"'Kay Dad, bye," Al replied and hung up, then went into the kitchen to help Matthew with the macaroni and cheese. While stirring the noodles into the boiling water, he stared down into the pot and lost himself in his train of thought. He expected things to go a lot smoother now that he would be taking care of Matthew himself 24/7. He realized, though, that even the thought of watching over Matthew full time made him feel in way over his head. He knew taking care of Matthew all by himself, every minute of every day, would prove to be a grueling task to handle. With Matthew unable to go to work, and Alfred unable to leave Matthew's side, he had to borrow money from his dad. For Alfred, everything was turning on it's head. Just a month before he had anticipated his wedding, anniversary, and his new life with his husband. Never in a lifetime had he imagined it could come to this: both of them out of the job and out of school, Matthew in serious medical condition for who-knows-how long, living off of his father and father-in-law, and being emotionally torn apart from the ambush of depression that came from not knowing what to do. That's what scared Alfred the most. He didn't know what to do. He had no idea what needed to be done or what he was even capable of doing to help the situation, or at least stop it from getting worse. He didn't know what to do, and, like anybody scared, scattered and hopeless, he repeated that simple thought in his mind.

* * *

**a/n: **haha sorry about the awkward porn thing, but it has a lot to do with the next chapter :) gosh I feel like I always rush the endings :( I hope it doesn't always seem that way to you reading…Well enjoy and thanks again for every wonderful review!


	7. Because I Love You

**a/n: ** I recommend re-reading the last part of chapter 6 just to refresh your memory before reading this :) Enjoy!

* * *

"Alfred?" Matthew asked worriedly and poked Alfred's arm.

Alfred blinked, "Huh?"

"Al, are you okay?" Matthew looked up at him, his forehead wrinkled with concern, "You kept saying, 'I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do.' Are you okay?"

"U-um, yeah…I'm just gonna go lay on the couch for a sec."

"Do you want Matthew to stir the noodles?" Matthew asked; his worry was slowly melting away now that Alfred returned from the inner workings of his mind.

"Yeah yeah, sure," Alfred said indifferently and went to lie on the couch. Matthew was humming a made-up tune to himself as he stirred the noodles and smiled down at them.

"How do I know when they're done?" asked Matthew.

"When they're soft."

"But how do I know they're soft unless I take 'em out?"

"I'll tell you when they're done, Matthew."

Matthew paused for a moment in thought. He could tell Alfred was upset.

"D-did I…do something wrong?"

Alfred sighed, "No Matthew; I'm just thinking okay?"

"Okay, but…" Matthew was not comfortable with the way Alfred was talking, and he didn't even know what put him in a bad mood, "Does Alfred feel icky? Like, sick icky? Alfred has medicine for me when I feel icky, so maybe he has medicine for when he feels icky too?"

Alfred didn't answer. Maybe he could call it a sickness. He wasn't physically ill, but his mind wasn't exactly up to par with all these negative emotions pricking his heart. Maybe he was sick because his reason and rationality were clouded by those emotions.

"Alfred?"

Alfred supposed he _could_ call it being sick, or maybe just crazy, since he could hardly think straight. He had this strange habit ever since the car accident, where he would lose himself while thinking. He floated between reality and unconsciousness when he thought too deeply. He felt sometimes that if he kept on thinking deeper and deeper, there would be no turning back and he'd be lost in his unconsciousness, forever in thought. He wouldn't have minded that happening, truly, since whenever he lost himself to his thoughts he seemed to push himself under all the emotion and become less aware of the nightmare reality that he faced when he rose back up from oblivion. He became so deep in thought, that he couldn't even sense or hear his surroundings.

"Alfred how come you're not answering me? …Al—" Matthew turned his head to see into the living room when he pulled a muscle in his neck that was bruised from the accident. Since it was already an injury, the pain was overwhelming. His pupils shrunk and he inhaled gallons of air in one gasp. At the ache in the muscle, his body's instant reaction was to recoil and he hit the handle of the pot of boiling hot water. The water fountained over his forearm and steam swelled in his face as he gasped again from a new-found pain. Alfred snapped out of his trance when he heard the pot hit the linoleum floor; followed by an earsplitting scream.

"What the fuck?" he yelled and stumbled into the kitchen. Horror plastered on his face when he saw Matthew clenching his reddened arm for dear life and gasping for air. "What happened?" he shouted as he kneeled down next to Matthew to pick him up, "I was only gone for a second!" Alfred was confused and angry – at both of them. He looked down at his panting husband whom he assumed was crying, until he saw no tears on his red face. The sink was full of dishes so he ran Matthew upstairs and put him in the bath tub. He hastily turned on the shower to spray the aching arm with cold water. He didn't spray Matthew's face though, because he was still breathing strangely even though he wasn't crying.

"I-I" Matthew gasped, "A-Al-fred I can't b-breathe!" The sight to Alfred was more terrifying than seeing Matthew's nearly blistered arm. He watched with confusion and horror as Matthew choked and gasped for breath. He had no idea what to do for him. He didn't even know what happened besides the fact that water obviously spilled on his arm; but why couldn't he breathe? He couldn't tell if Matthew was suffocating, drowning, convulsing, seizing; the possibilities were endless.

"Jesus Christ!" Alfred exclaimed. He felt like he was crying but he was too afraid to cry at the moment, and he couldn't even fathom how terrified Matthew must have been. "Oh God I don't know what's happening! We've gotta go to the fucking hospital!" Alfred snatched a towel off its hook and wrapped Matthew and his practically soaked clothes in it. He picked Matthew up and left the house – not even wasting time to turn off the shower or stove. He laid Matthew in the back seat of the vehicle and took off to the hospital. It wasn't the one Matthew had been to before since that one was far out of town. It took only a quick minute before he burst into the emergency room lobby with Matthew quivering in his arms.

"Do something! I don't know what's wrong!" Alfred demanded. The nurse behind the glass first noticed Matthew's beet-red arm and face and then realized his odd shivering and choking. Without words she hurried out and led Alfred through to the ER where two nurses put his husband on a cot.

"What happened?" one of them questioned while the other tried to figure out how to calm his breathing. They ignored the fact that his clothes were drenched since it wasn't vital information about his health.

"Well his arm is red because he spilt a pot of boiling water on himself but I don't know why his face is red or why he's choking!" Alfred spit out his words in a hurry to help in any way possible.

"Okay well that explains the red arm," she said while getting out anti-bacterial bandage wrap, "and his face must be red due to the steam. Most people don't realize it, but the steam is just as hot as the boiling water and can cause burns just as severe," she continued as she wrapped his lower arm in the bandage.

"Why is he choking?" Alfred yelled, "Do something!"

"We're doing the best we can sir. Please sit down."

"No! I can't just wait this out like last time! I need to make sure he's okay at every second!" Alfred rejoined.

"Why don't you go make a call while we get everything sorted out?" she pushed for him to give them work space.

'That's what they said last time,' he thought. "Fine," he left the room and got his cell phone from his pocket, dialing his father. "Fuck, fuck, fuck," he said to himself while waiting for Arthur to pick up.

"Alfred? Is everything alright?"

"No I'm at the hospital. Look I don't need you to come up here; just go to my house and turn off the shower and stove okay?"

"Bloody hell what happened now?" Arthur exclaimed in surprise.

"It's nothing; will you please do what I asked? I don't want to have the stove left on."

"Of course but I'm calling you right back when I'm finished!"

"Fine, just fine," Alfred replied and hung up, returning to Matthew's room.

"Didn't you figure out what the fuck is going on?" Alfred growled in frustration.

"That language and volume isn't necessary," the nurse sighed, "but we think he just has a little water in his lungs; and the fact that he's soaked backs up that explanation."

"No no no; first of all, his clothes are wet because I tried to cool him off in the shower. Secondly, _a little water_ is when you breathe in just below the surface when you're at the swimming pool – he choked and begged his lungs for air in front of me as he told me he couldn't breathe! Now do your job and figure out what the fuck is wrong with him!" Alfred was so angry he nearly punched the door next to him. The nurse didn't have anything to say back as she didn't want to provoke him. She put her stethoscope in various places on Matthew's lungs and listened carefully. It was difficult to hear clearly with Matthew shuddering and gasping. "It sounds…_different_…."

"Well?" Alfred couldn't believe how slow she was being. At least the other nurse attending Matthew was being productive as she cleaned Matthew's scorched face with cool antiseptic wipes and hurriedly tried to prevent blistering.

"I have no idea. I need to get a doctor in here immediately," she rushed out of the room. In no time she came back with a doctor while she finished explaining Matthew's condition. The doctor actually seemed to know what she was doing. She used her own stethoscope and listened to Matthew's lungs.

"Well," the doctor said, "if he doesn't have a critical amount of water in his lungs then the only other thing I can think of is that the steam burned his trachea and/or lungs. It's happened plenty of times before in burn cases…. Sir," she turned to Alfred, "I'm very sorry but can you please go to the lobby? With three of us working on him we really need the space and a calmer atmosphere. I know it's difficult to leave him, but please." She seemed genuinely concerned – unlike the nurse.

"S-sure," Alfred said uneasily and left to the lobby. He didn't realize he was crying until he sat down and let his face fall into his hands. He wasn't surprised that he was crying though. With all of the stress, he didn't give a shit that people saw him shedding tears in public. Grown man or not, his husband could've been suffocating to death and he wasn't afraid to be upset over it. It wasn't like with the car accident where Alfred had erratic fits of crying; this time he cried the entire time Matthew was in the ER. He needed it – he really did. With all the tension building up within him, he needed to let it go; and the easiest way seemed to be through tears.

**(After the procedure)**

"Alfred Jones?" A nurse said in the lobby doorway, "Matthew Williams is ready to be seen." Alfred stood up, receiving the attention of the nurse, "Through here please," she walked through the doorway, leading him back to the same room Matthew was in before. His face was still very pink, and Alfred knew it had blisters from a few gauze patches here and there. His arm was completely wrapped up in bandage, and the scorched skin around where the bandage ended was still virtually red, and any blisters were hidden. There was silence, save for Matthew's breathing. Alfred bit his tongue to prevent himself from throwing up as he heard detailed cracking and wheezing echoing off the walls from Matthew. He didn't even realize the empty, red-eyed stare he was giving his husband as he almost fell back into the realm of thought that was his safe haven. But someone's voice kept him from sinking under.

"A-Alfred?" Matthew rasped and sat up. Alfred was so close to going back to that place. The place where his body replaced his mind and peace was within his grasp. The easy way out. That's what he wanted; but Matthew didn't allow it. Without knowing it, Matthew was keeping Alfred from escaping reality and drifting back to his deep thoughts.

"Matthew…y-you're okay," Alfred's eyes didn't have the willpower to weep anymore.

"Yeah Alfred, but can Matthew talk to you? By ourselves?" Matthew asked.

Alfred was a bit puzzled, "Well, sure Matt." The nurses heard and understood, leaving the two alone. "What's up?" he approached Matthew and sat next to him on the cot, taking his hand and holding it loosely.

"Do friends love each other?" he queried. His words held a certain solemnity and Alfred didn't understand where it came from.

"Well, there are different kinds of love Matthew," Alfred explained, "There's friendly love, like the kind we have. Then there's parent and family love, like the kind Francis and you have, and I have with my dad. Lastly, there's romantic love. You know those people we saw at the mall who were holding hands and some of them were kissing or hugging? That's romantic love."

"Well…Alfred's holding my hand…and Alfred hugs me lots and pets my hair…."

"…What are you getting at Matthew?" Alfred felt sweat beads already creeping through his skin and he inadvertently squeezed Matthew's hand tighter in nervousness.

"Why are you holding Matthew's hand? And why do you pet Matthew? And hug him?"

"I told you before: because I love you, Matthew," Alfred answered easily and smiled.

'Because you love me?' Matthew thought. _This is what you do…when someone…._

Before either of them realized it, Matthew had leaned in and kissed Alfred sincerely on the lips. Alfred didn't even know it was happening – it felt so natural. Matthew pressed Alfred's shoulders down on to the cot and hovered over him on his knees, kissing Alfred's lips again and again. It felt natural to Matthew too, even though he'd never experienced it while in his current state. He kissed Alfred's face and led them to his ear and whispered "I love you too;" sending chills down Alfred's spine. Matthew's gentle and dearly-missed kisses made their way to his husband's neck. It was then that Alfred realized what was happening.

"This…" Alfred panted lightly – under Matthew's lustful spell. "No; this…this is wrong…" Alfred almost couldn't say no. He wanted it – _craved_ it – so badly. It had been almost a month since he'd even had a kiss from Matthew, and now his lover was showering him with soft kisses and seemed ready to make love to him right there. He almost couldn't break the spell. "Matthew!" Alfred gasped and awoke from his submitted state, surprised at how quickly the scene had taken place. "What are you doing?" Alfred yelled and squirmed himself out from under Matthew, standing up a few feet away to prevent another "incident". Matthew sat up on the bed, tears forming in his eyes.

"But, this is what you do when someone loves you!" Matthew protested.

"What? Where did you learn that?" Alfred demanded, "And I don't love you that way! I-I can't! We're just friends and we can't be anything more! It's just wrong!"

"Why is it wrong?" tears rapidly fell from Matthew's eyes, "Is something wrong with Matthew?"

"What makes you think that?"

"Because I know Alfred loves me!" Matthew had hurt written all over him.

"How do you know? You don't know anything about that kind of stuff so just stop!" Alfred shouted.

"Matthew knows," he nodded, "because Alfred said so. You hugged me and you said 'because I love you' just like you did a second ago! But 'just friends' don't do that!" Matthew shook his head in disagreement.

"How would you even know that?" Alfred yelled back.

"Because I just do! I don't know what's telling me that Alfred loves me, but I just know!" Matthew tried to tell Alfred as best he could, "And it's telling me that I love Alfred too! I know I do! Please—"

"You don't know shit!" Alfred slammed his fist onto the plastic tray near Matthew's bed – accidentally breaking it and scattering the objects that were on it onto the floor. It scared Matthew half to death. He'd never seen Alfred let his anger take hold of him. "Just stop this Matthew! Knock it off! You don't know anything about love! You don't know anything about how I feel about you! And you don't love me so back the fuck off!" Alfred stormed out and slammed the door behind him. Matthew was left in the emergency room crying.

"But I do know how I feel…" Matthew whispered to himself and curled up on his cot.

A few nurses gave Alfred confused looks as they went into Matthew's room to make sure their patient was okay. Alfred ignored them and walked out to his car. He just sat in it for a few minutes, debating on whether he should just call Francis to pick Matthew up. He didn't do that after all, and instead called his dad again.

"Hey son, what's going on?"

"You didn't call back like you said," Alfred answered.

"I figured if something was going on you should be with Matthew, not on the phone," Arthur replied simply.

"Yeah well me and Matthew sort of got into an argument."

"An argument?" Arthur raised an eyebrow, "What do you mean? The argument put him in the hospital?"

"No, God no. I mean just a moment ago, I was yelling at him…."

"Why?" Arthur shouted, "He's hurt for God's sake!"

"I know, I know, but things got out of hand!"

"What happened Alfred? And I mean with this argument; I don't even want to know how he ended up getting hurt this time," Arthur asked.

"He kissed me Dad, and I let him…it was a stupid mistake but I didn't even realize it was happening until he was on top of me and was going too far! I don't even know where he got the idea to do it! He was saying that's what you do when someone loves you; and he said that he knows I love him and that he loves me too! Jesus Christ I wasn't being _that_ obvious! There's no way he would've known I love him that way! He doesn't even know we're married! I haven't laid my hands on him this whole time besides hugging him! I told him we were just friends! How could he already think that we love each other?" Alfred ranted on to his father, who was perplexed.

"Dammit Alfred…I can't believe…" Arthur sighed, "Well, do you think maybe he has these feelings because maybe, part of him still knows you love each other from before the accident?"

"You mean…he's starting to remember?"

"No I'm not saying that at all; it's hard to explain…. His mind was erased, right?" Arthur went on.

"I guess you could say that…."

"But that doesn't mean his emotion was erased. Just because he isn't consciously aware of your relationship doesn't mean he can't still _feel_ the connection. His memory may be lost, but the feelings he had for you aren't; and by the looks of it he's very aware of how you feel for him. I'm guessing that his assumptions are based purely on his gut feeling though, and not his thought process since he can't think very elaborately…" Arthur explained. He always was intuitive.

"I think I get it," Alfred reviewed what his father said and began to understand.

Arthur laughed, "I guess that means you really are meant to be huh?"

Alfred managed to smile, "Hey I gotta go Dad."

"Go? You're going back to get Matthew right?"

"Of course, I can't just leave him! Not that I want to or anything, that's really not what I meant," Alfred made himself clearer.

"Mhmm. Just behave yourself or I'll send Francis over; got it?"

Alfred gulped at his father's serious tone, "Got it."

"Talk to you soon, son. Love you!" Arthur smiled through the phone despite his worry.

"I love you too Dad; bye," Alfred ended the call. He sighed and wiped his eyes before getting out of the car. Taking a deep breath and swallowing his anxiety, he went back into the hospital. As soon as the nurse behind the counter saw him again she frowned; but she wasn't permitted to force anyone to leave and couldn't prevent him from seeing Matthew without Matthew's own recommendation. Alfred glanced at her nervously, hoping he wouldn't be kicked out. He invited himself past the lobby and knocked on Matthew's door. Matthew thought it was a nurse.

"C-come in," he said with a shaky voice. When Alfred came in, he noticed that the mess he made in breaking the tray had been cleaned up. Matthew, who was curled up on the mattress and facing the wall, turned over just enough to see who walked in.

"A-Alfred!" Matthew exclaimed. It was familiar for Alfred to hear, since Matthew had shouted his name excitedly whenever Alfred entered the room – but this time was different. Matthew wasn't excited. He rushed off his cot and scurried back into a corner. He was shaking and his eyes were wide in fear. Alfred's initial reaction would've been to approach Matthew and comfort him, but he didn't make a move. He was disgusted with himself for scaring Matthew so severely. He felt so stupid and irresponsible. He just wanted to leave Matthew alone so he couldn't hurt him anymore that day, but he couldn't do that.

"W-why'd you come back?" Matthew mumbled.

"Because I love you and we're going home." Alfred managed to look into his husband's eyes.

Matthew looked back at him painfully, "Why?"

"Why what?" asked Alfred.

"Why would Alfred say that? He just said all that mean stuff…why are you saying you love me again?"

"Because I do, even if it's not the way you think Matthew. I care about you and I'm going to take care of you whether anyone agrees that I should or not. But can you promise me something?" Alfred said.

Matthew had stopped shivering and wasn't as scared anymore, but was still on edge. "What?"

"Don't ever do that again. Don't kiss me or touch me or anything like that. That's not right, no matter how you feel and no matter how I feel, we can't do those things until you get better. Understand?"

"Matthew doesn't really know why…but he does promise he won't do it again…" Matthew replied sheepishly.

"Thank you," Alfred smiled subtly, "And Matthew, I'm so sorry for yelling at you and getting violent; it's really not like me at all. I guess I was just frustrated from you getting hurt earlier, but it's not your fault. I'm entirely to blame for you spilling the water so don't feel guilty one bit. I shouldn't have let you try to cook, that was so stupid of me…. Do you forgive me for being mad? It won't happen again Matthew; I'll try really hard to control my frustration, as long as you try hard to control your feelings for me too, okay?" Alfred's smile grew as a reassurance to Matthew that everything would be okay.

"Okay Alfred, Matthew forgives you," Matthew stood himself up from the floor and wiped his butt of the dust, "Alfred really will try his best to not be a meanie?" he asked uncertainly as he took cautious steps toward Alfred.

Alfred felt shameful towards himself for causing Matthew to act so uneasy, but he wouldn't show it on his face, "Honest. I'll try my hardest Matthew."

"Well…okay," Matthew smiled with teary eyes and took Alfred by surprise in a crushing hug, "I thought I'd never get to hug you again! I thought you left me here alone!" Matthew cried.

"Shh shh," Alfred wrapped his arms around Matthew and rubbed his back to console him, "I'd _never _leave you Matthew. Even after all of this I haven't left your side, and that's where I'll stay," he began to pet his husbands hair – that always seemed to calm him down. "And you know what? If I'm going to stay by your side, then I better start treating you sweeter. I've been so depressed and tense, and it's not fair to you. From now on, we're going to do tons of fun stuff together, 'kay?" Alfred pulled away, resting his hands on Matthew's shoulders and shining a huge grin on him to cheer him up.

"Okay!" Matthew tossed aside his gloom and became excited.

"Let's check out of here and get you home," Alfred ruffled Matthew's hair. Matthew nearly jumped up and down with joy and Alfred was able to contently sigh away a lot of his anxiety.

**(Back at home)**

Alfred had Matthew sit on the bathroom counter.

"Alright now I'm just gonna peek under your new bandages; I won't take them all the way off."

"O-okay," Matthew complied nervously. He was afraid of the pain that might come after removing the bandage, and afraid that he might have some ugly burns.

"The doctor said your lungs and throat should heal up within days," he commented while peeking under the bandages on Matt's face, "Does your throat hurt?"

"Yeah a little."

"Hm, I can hear the rasping in your voice," Alfred frowned, but a smile quickly spread, "You know, your face doesn't look so bad! I mean the burns aren't very bad. I hope I can say the same for your arm," he added and began to unwrap the arm bandage.

"Owee," Matthew winced, "It's stingy…."

"It is? That's not good…" Alfred finished unwrapping most of it, "Oh no…it's still reddish and you have a few blisters…" his frown returned.

"Can you wrap it back up now?" Matthew pleaded impatiently.

"I know it hurts, I'm sorry," he began to rewrap it, "The antibacterial stuff on this bandage should have your burns healing in no time!" Al managed to lighten the mood.

"That's good, 'cause it sure is hurty." Matthew bit his lip and nodded.

"You're so cute!" Alfred laughed.

Matthew blushed, "Eh?"

"Oh nothing," Alfred smiled happily at Matthew and tousled his hair.

Matthew giggled. He adored the moments when Alfred wasn't being awkward and uncomfortable.

"Let's get you something to eat huh? And this time _I'll_ cook it," grinned Alfred.

"Right!"

Alfred boiled spaghetti noodles, simmered pasta sauce, and shredded cheese for a spaghetti dinner for he and Matthew. He felt very proud of himself, and Matthew was proud of him too. They enjoyed their home-cooked meal and Alfred sent Matthew off to bed.

"Um, Alfred?"

"Yes Matthew?" In spite of the terrifying event just a bit earlier that day, Alfred kept a cheerful tone. He felt it was the best thing he could do for Matthew.

"Can you sleep with Matthew tonight? I-I know we're just friends like Alfred said, but I'm gonna be so lonely…" Matthew asked nervously.

"You have Kuma!" Alfred smiled.

"Oh please Alfred? Pleeeeeease? Please please?" Matthew begged. Even as a child years and years ago, Matthew wasn't one to beg unless he was desperate for something he wanted.

Alfred chuckled, "Okay Matthew—"

"Yay!" Matthew exclaimed and rushed upstairs. Alfred grabbed his pillow from the couch and followed up the steps. He entered the room to see Matthew jumping on the bed with excitement.

"_Matthew_…" Alfred laughed, "You can hurt yourself you know; let's calm down now okay?"

"Aww okay," Matthew's words were those of disappointment but his cheerful disposition remained. He yawned.

"Somebody's tiiiiiiired!" Alfred said sing-songingly and then yawned as well. Matthew giggled. "What?" Alfred smiled.

"It's con-ta-gi-ous!" Matthew spaced out the syllables to pronounce the word correctly. Matthew and Alfred put on their pajamas and crawled into bed.

"You have Kuma?" Alfred asked.

"Yeah he's right here!" Matthew pulled out the stuffed bear from under the covers and hugged it tightly.

Alfred sighed contently. He tried not to show how blissful it felt to be laying in his bed next to Matthew again, even if it was just in a friendly manner. He kind of felt like he was a girl at a sleepover.

"I'm so happy!" Matthew squeezed Kuma and giggled.

'God he's so cute I just wanna tickle him and see what he does! That would be the best tickle fight ever!' Alfred thought; tempted to jump right into said tickle fight. He stopped his itch when Matthew yawned once again. "Oh wow sleepy head, you really are tired!"

"Yeah," he rubbed his eyes.

Alfred just let Matthew fall asleep. He laid in bed and gazed at Matthew's adorable figure – curled up on his side, squeezing the life out his stuffed bear, and of course drooling. Alfred expected himself to have the urge to kiss Matthew, but strangely enough he wanted to do no such thing. He simply admired Matthew's peaceful form (save for the moderate crackling of his lungs) and drifted to sleep himself. Alfred didn't realize it yet, but he was slowly starting to change for the better.

* * *

**a/n: **Hey I hope this chapter was fine! :) remember how the plot of the story is supposed to be about Matt and Al being happy together and influencing Al's opinion about adopting? Well it's finally going to start heading that way! But who knows, I might not be able to let go of my obsession with making Matt and Al go through tragic events xD but my plan is for them to spend happy times together :3 please review so I feel good about what I write! xD You reviewers have been doing a good job of that so far! C:


	8. Father Figure

**a/n: **Oh gosh sorry for the extremely late chapter! There's really no excuse for it being this late! Well here's the latest chapter and I dearly hope it doesn't feel too rushed just because some time passes by! Enjoy!

* * *

In a matter of days, Matthew noticed a subtle change in Alfred. Alfred was less awkward and nervous, and rather spontaneous, loud, and fun like he'd normally be. He finally began to treat Matthew like a child and a friend, rather than an adult and a stranger. Days turned to weeks and as Alfred spent time with Matthew he felt what he thought was their relationship growing, when in fact it was taking a new path. He slept in Matthew's bed every night in a friendly manner to keep him company, and took Matthew on outings they could both enjoy. After the car accident, Alfred had fallen into rapid, shallow depressions – where he fell deep into his thoughts and lost sense of his surroundings; but ever since the night at the hospital when Matthew burned himself with the boiling water, Alfred had never fallen into such a depression again. Instead, Alfred had transformed his reality into a comfortable one where he didn't have to be depressed about not being able to express his true feelings to Matthew. He unconsciously tried to overcome his remaining feelings for Matthew as a husband, and he was able to store it away as a new kind of relationship came in to take its place. Obviously, he couldn't just get rid of his romantic feelings for Matthew; but he at least was able to forget about them for the most part.

In little over a month since the last time Matthew visited the hospital, Alfred's plan to take Matthew out somewhere very exciting had been set in stone.

"Okay Dad," Alfred said to his father over the phone, "Everything's set. I asked Matt's doctor from the accident whether I can take him to the amusement park, and he said it should be fine as long as we stay careful. He said most of the rides could hurt Matt though, so to avoid the rough-looking ones. But I just want to take him so he can see the animals – I just know that'll be his favorite part!"

Arthur laughed, "Well good for you two! I'm sure you'll have tons of fun! I'm very impressed with the way you've matured through this whole mess Alfred, and I know Matthew appreciates the changes you've made."

"Changes? What do you mean?"

"Well you know; whenever I or Francis visit, we've noticed that you don't act tense or uncomfortable around Matthew anymore. It's really nice to see that you're treating him properly and friendly, and not like…well, your husband," Arthur shrugged on the other end of the phone.

"But he _is_ still my husband…."

"Well, yes, but…you can't possibly think of it that way when you're around him. You don't treat him like you would your husband, right?" Arthur asked.

"Right, I guess, but that doesn't mean he's not my husband; I still love him just the same!" Alfred argued.

"Look I didn't want this to turn into bickering, I'm just glad to see that you don't see him romantically anymore, that's all," Arthur tried to settle the argument before it grew.

"What does that mean? I know I can't show that I'm in love with him for now, but once he goes back to normal all of my love will still be here! I'm not losing him as a husband! My _romantic feelings_ still exist!"

"Alfred, you don't know that he is going to return to normal! You can't be in love with him forever if he's going to stay this way! I thought you were finally able to see that you can't think of him as your husband anymore; he shouldn't be anything more than a child to you now! You'll end up hurting yourself and Matthew if you still hold on to these feelings!" Arthur waited for Alfred's response, but it never came and all he received was the dial tone.

"I can't believe him!" Alfred said to himself after hanging up. "I'm not changing! He's so ridiculous!"

"Al?" Matthew was woken up by Alfred yelling at his father, "Who was that?" he asked while coming down the stairs.

"Oh, just my dad," Alfred answered, standing up from the couch. "Did you sleep well?" Alfred smiled.

"Yes!" Matthew exclaimed.

"Good, because we have a big day today!"

"Big day?" Matthew said curiously.

"Guess where we're going?" Alfred asked excitedly.

"Umm…candy store?"

Alfred shook his head.

"The park?" Matthew's eyes grew wide.

"Even better," Alfred said.

"The pet store?" Matthew knew it had to be the pet store. That was one of his favorite places to go, and they went every Sunday; that day being a Sunday as well.

"Nope!" Alfred smiled happily.

"What?" Matthew frowned dejectedly, "Matthew has no idea…."

"An amusement park!" Alfred bounced up and down.

"Didn't Matthew already guess the park?" Matthew said confused.

Alfred laughed, "No it's an amusement park! With rides and souvenirs and good food and zoo animals!"

Matthew almost couldn't fully comprehend all of the exciting things the park had in store.

"Are you excited?" Al exclaimed.

"Yeah!" Matthew yelled back with joy. He'd never been to or heard of some place so exciting. "We're going today?" Matthew asked anxiously.

"Yes Matthew! Go get dressed!"

"Eee!" Matthew squealed and hugged Alfred tightly. Then he ran upstairs to get ready.

Seeing Matthew so happy allowed Alfred to forget his conversation with his father.

**(At the park)**

"Smile Matthew!" Alfred said as he smiled with an arm around Matthew's shoulder. The park staff with the camera snapped their photo.

"You can pick up your photos at that booth right over there later today!" the camera man pointed to the booth and smiled, then paid his attention to the next visitors entering the park.

"Thanks!" Alfred smiled in return and walked off with Matthew. Another staff soon after handed them a map of the park and a flyer listing the events scheduled for the day. Alfred spent a good amount of time examining the map.

"Looks like the animals are…this way?" Alfred pointed, and then looked up. "Oh, yeah looks like that sign says it's this way too! Well aren't we in luck that we found it so fast! Come on!" Alfred folded up the map, put it in his back pocket, and grabbed Matthew's hand to lead him to the animals. He didn't feel uncomfortable or embarrassed holding Matthew's hand, because it didn't feel as if they were holding hands as a couple. The feeling was similar to that of a father and child holding hands, but Alfred didn't try to think of it that way either.

"Alfred Alfred! What're we gonna see first?" Matthew chimed.

"We're going to see one of the best parts! The zoo animals!"

"Well what kind of animals? Like the pet store kind?" Matthew wondered.

"No, not exactly. These animals are bigger and cooler!" Alfred said with excitement.

"Well whadda they have?" questioned a curious Matthew.

"Just wait and see Matthew! I don't want to spoil it for you!"

"Okay," Matthew bit his lip in anticipation.

"Hmm…" Alfred hummed as he looked at the map once more, "The nearest thing to the zoo animals is the aquarium, so we'll go there after we see the animals and grab a snack, okay?"

"Wow, okay! Matthew's so excited!"

"I am too Matt!" Alfred squeezed Matthew's hand with joy. Seeing Matthew so happy was refreshing as always, but now they were doing something more fun than ever before and it made Alfred feel young and ecstatic. He was proud of himself for planning this field trip with Matthew because it was already starting to pay off – even if he wasn't using his own money to pay for it (in other words, he was using Arthur and Francis's money; as always). He had a good feeling that the day would go just as planned. They soon arrived at the entrance to the zoo portion of the park.

"Aaaahhhhh we're here!" Matt squealed.

Alfred gasped to make Matthew more excited, "Matthew look! Do you know what kind of animal that is?" Alfred exclaimed.

"A lion!" Matthew answered, feeling good about himself.

"Do you think you can name every single animal we see?" Alfred questioned.

"Yeah! I bet I can!" Matthew replied.

"Hmm I don't knoooow," Alfred played like he didn't believe.

"Oh yeah Al? Well do you know what kind of sound lions make?" Matthew tested Alfred.

"You know, I think they go…RAWWWR!" Alfred brought up his hands to look like claws and pounced, playfully trying to frighten Matthew and causing an unavoidable tickle fight. Matthew giggled and wriggled in Alfred's arms. A handful of people near them stared, but the two of them were already having too much fun to notice. The day kicked off better than Al expected.

"Oh look Alfred! Another one is coming out of the cave! How come it's bald?" Matthew asked in confusion. He'd only seen lions with manes before.

"Well that's a female lion. They don't have manes Matthew," Al informed him.

"Oh. So the ones with manes are boys?"

"Yeah you smarty," Alfred ruffled Matthew's hair. "Come on let's go to the next one and see if you can name it!" They walked only a little farther to the next exhibit.

"Those are giraffes! I already knew that!"

"Wow good job Matthew!"

"Does Alfred know what kind of sound _they_ make?" Matthew giggled.

"Actually, no. I thought they didn't make any noise," Alfred shrugged.

"Yeah Matthew thinks that too," Matt nodded in agreement, "Oh my goodness gracious look at his tongue!" Matthew yelled and pointed over the railing at the giraffe reaching for a tree branch with its tongue stretched far.

"Hey Matt don't go over the rail," Alfred gently pulled his arm back, "Wow I see it; pretty long, huh?"

"Oh gosh yeah! Look a little one!" he now pointed to a child giraffe and Alfred again pulled Matthew's hand back from over the railing.

"That one's just a baby," Alfred smiled. He was really regretting not bringing a camera.

"Yeah I knew it was! I just wanted to see if Alfred knew," he laughed. "Oh! Oh! Look!" Matthew ran to the huge orangutan exhibit. There were plenty of trees and rocks and a pond, making it a very large area. It took Matthew a moment of scanning the miniature jungle to find anything. "What's in this one Alfred?" Matthew frowned.

Alfred looked for a moment as well before spotting one of the primates. He poked Matthew's shoulder and pointed to it. "Look Matt; over there."

Matthew's eyes were wide with discovery, "Oh it's a monkey!"

Alfred was unsure whether orangutans were monkeys or apes or whatever else there was, but Matthew was close enough, "Right Matt! It's says right here on this panel that they're orangutans! Have you heard of those?"

"Yeah I think so," Matthew smiled.

"Gee you're really smart Matt, where have you heard of all these animals before?"

"The TV!" Matthew beamed. Alfred then remembered the excruciating hours he'd spent with Matthew watching nothing but Animal Planet and Discovery Channel and so forth. Matthew watched nothing else save for a handful of other shows. Alfred suggested watching Spike TV or MTV or the news – anything but hours on end of wildlife – but Matthew refused.

"How many are there in there?" Alfred asked him.

"Hmm…" Matthew looked all throughout the make-shift jungle, counting out loud as he spotted the primates. "Matthew thinks…that there is eight! Five grown up ones, and three baby ones," Matthew was smiling with pride of being able to impress Alfred so far. He really wanted to keep it up.

"You counted those pretty fast! Ready to move on?"

Matthew stared out at the apes, appreciating them for an instant more before nodding and turning away with Alfred. They walked past the large exhibit and after many patient steps made it to the next one.

"Birds!" Matthew exclaimed. He adored the vibrant colors and long feathers and curled beaks. He enjoyed the small and large birds, loud and quiet birds, the frantic birds and the calm birds, the birds that stare and the birds that can't keep their attention on one thing for a moment; he loved all the birds. The birds he liked especially were the ones that approached him from inside their confinements. He felt like they wanted to get to know him. He was very shy, and liked it when someone else tried to be _his_ friend for a change.

"You know what kind of birds these are Mattie?" Alfred asked him.

"I think they're parrots or something," Matthew wondered aloud.

"I'm not sure," Alfred looked around for one of those panels saying what kind of bird they are, "Oh it says here that they are…oh wow you're right! Most of them are parrots, and some of them are this thing I can't pronounce," Alfred shrugged.

"Yay!" yelled Matthew, "Right again! I'm gonna get every one! You watch!"

"You still think so? I guess you'll just have to show me 'cause I still don't believe it!" Alfred said teasingly.

"I will show you!" Matthew smiled and turned his attention back to the birds. "They're so pretty," he mused.

"Ready to go see the next thing?" Al asked with a smile.

Matthew stared at them, getting ready to reluctantly say goodbye, but he decided to be patient, "No, I'm gonna wait."

"Wait? For what?"

"For one of them to come up to me."

"Matt, they're birds you know, they're scared of people," Alfred tried to convince Matthew that what he wanted to happen was unlikely without disappointing him.

"Not all of them. What if one of them wants to be Matthew's friend, and they just don't know it yet? If I go, they'll never get the chance to be Matthew's friend again," Matthew explained.

'His friend?' Alfred thought. That did it. There was no convincing Matthew to go without breaking his heart. Alfred certainly didn't want to sit there bird watching all day, but he didn't want to let Matthew down. Besides, this trip was for him.

Matthew waited and stared. It only took about 45 seconds of standing there motionless until he noticed one of the birds actually nearing him. His eyes dilated and he became nervous, not wanting to scare the bird off by making an improper introduction. The bird flew up and curled its talons around the fence wall in front of Matthew.

"H-hi," Matthew nervously began, "I'm Matthew. What's your name?" The bird just stayed put, cocking its head in different angles.

"I think your name is…Perry. Perry the parrot. Is that your name?" Matthew awaited the response.

"I knew that was it! You want to be Matthew's friend, right?"

Alfred stared at Matthew without consciously blinking. There were some strange things Matthew had done, but this was up there with the best of them. He just observed him talking to that parrot. Even if it was a bit strange, Alfred still thought it was pretty cute – Matthew trying to make friends with a bird and all.

"Um, I don't think there's so much to talk about, so I'll let you go be with your other friends I guess," Matthew said with nervousness still pricking his voice. At this, the bird hopped off the fence and flew away. Matthew was a bit sad. He hadn't really expected the bird to leave him. "B-bye Perry!"

"Come on Matt," Alfred smiled and took Matthew's hand. He wanted to go before Matthew could burst into tears. He led Matthew to a small pavilion which was part of the zoo area. It was an insect and reptile/amphibion pavilion. Alfred thought about how contradictory that was – having the insects and things that eat insects in the same pavilion – but shrugged over it nonetheless.

"So what's your faaaavorite reptile Mattie?"

Matthew thought about what animals were reptiles, "Oh, turtles definitely!"

Alfred didn't know whether turtles were reptiles or amphibians, but just like with the orangutans he wasn't willing to get all technical about it. "Oh that's cool Matthew! We'll probably see some here!" They walked into the pavilion. It was a long wall made to look like the side of a cliff or boulder for an "outside" feel. There were glass tanks inside the wall, not protruding, but with just the face of the tanks showing. Underneath each tank was a label stating what the animal inside was, and usually some fun random fact about the animal. The few tanks that didn't have anything inside also had no label underneath, indicating that there was nothing inside. Together they approached the first tank. The first thing Matthew did was try to see what was inside, but Alfred's eyes were directed to the label first so that he didn't have to see anything creepy. Luckily, it was just some spotted geckoes.

"Ooh lizards!" Matthew exclaimed with his hands up on the glass, in the middle of which was his curious nose. Alfred gently took Matthew by the shoulder and pulled him back a bit as to keep his nose from fogging the window. "Look at them, Al!"

"I see them," Alfred smiled and observed the little geckoes. They moved to the next tank. The label underneath said that it was some type of salamander. Alfred didn't really care about them or any of the reptiles or amphibians really, but Matthew appreciated almost all the animals. After the salamanders they saw a few insects – avoiding the praying mantis and tarantula because Matthew was afraid of those. They also saw some interesting reptiles and amphibians before they approached an unsuspected specimen.

"Eeeeeep!" Matthew squealed rather girlishly at the sight of the scaly, slithering menace. "A s-s-snake! Alfred!" Matthew clung to Alfred's arm and hid his face in Alfred's shoulder.

"Matthew! Calm down it's behind a window!" Alfred pet Matthew's hair and smiled nervously and apologetically to the confused people witnessing the episode. The people went about their business and Alfred urged Matthew to forget the snake and see the next tank, but Matthew just wanted to get out of there. Once they left the pavilion, Alfred reminded Matthew that he forgot to see the turtles.

"Oh man…. Well it's okay, Matthew doesn't wanna go back in there!" he exclaimed shakily and ran off to another animal's exhibit.

"Hey!" Alfred ran after him and slowed down to a stop when they reached the bar fence of the exhibit. "What's in here?"

Matthew looked around, then he saw them. They were hard to see at first – being green like their surrounding foliage – but Matthew spotted them. He was in awe.

"Oh there they are!" Alfred grinned brightly. "Peacocks!"

"They're…so pretty."

"You like 'em Mattie?"

"Yeah! They have lots of green and blue and their feathers are so shiny!" he sounded so excited.

"Ooh look Matt, a white one!" Alfred rested a hand on Matthew's shoulder and wagged his finger frantically in the white peacock's direction.

"Wow! That means it's a girl right?" Matthew asked.

"I guess so, yeah; look two more white ones! Oh and there's a couple more greenish ones by that little pond!"

"So they have some boy ones and some girl ones? Where's the babies? Don't they have any families?"

Alfred nearly scoffed, "What do you think a family is? You don't have to have guys and girls and babies to have a family you know. There's lots of different kinds of families Matt."

"But I read in a book that a family is a mommy, a daddy, and children."

Alfred frowned, "Well that book doesn't tell about all the types of families then."

"Oh," Matthew was still a bit confused. What were the other types of families?

"We're a family Matt – don't you think so?" Alfred asked, confident that he'd get the answer he wanted.

"Yeah Alfred! You're like my other Papa!" Matthew hugged Alfred tightly. Alfred was shocked. That wasn't the answer he wanted.

"I'm…your other Papa?"

"Well, yeah! Alfred treats me just like a Papa does! He takes care of me and loves me just like a Papa would!"

"Matthew, I'm _not_ your Papa." Alfred was too serious for Matthew's comfort.

"But…well, Alfred takes care of me _instead_ of my Papa, so that kinda makes you my Papa," Matthew smiled, believing that Alfred understood.

Alfred grabbed Matthew's wrist a little too hard. He was clearly upset and Matthew could tell. "Matthew listen to me – I'm _not_ your Papa," he whispered angrily to Matthew while inadvertently squeezing his wrist and ignoring his wincing, "Francis is your Papa; not me. I don't love you like you're my son and you don't love me like I'm your father. We're just best friends. There are lots of best friends that live with each other and this is no different. I'm not your father and you're not my child. Got it?"

It wasn't until Alfred was finished that he noticed Matthew's glossing eyes and he let Matthew out of his angry grip. Matthew held his wrist and tried hard to hold back tears.

"Matt, I—"

Matthew couldn't fight it. He didn't care that they were in a public area. He didn't care that people would give them looks. He cried anyway.

"Matthew!" Alfred whisper-yelled, "Stop crying!" Alfred was nervous about the attention they'd receive and rushed to a near bathroom. Matthew gasped between wails as Alfred wiped his cheeks dry with a paper towel.

"Shh Matthew," Alfred hugged Matthew once all the other guys left the bathroom, "Shh, it's okay. I'm so sorry if I hurt you."

"I-it's not that…Matthew doesn't know what he did wrong!" he cried and his arms remained limp at his sides as Alfred held him.

Alfred sighed, "You didn't do anything wrong, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have confused you like that…. Let's just forget all this and go back outside 'kay?" he smiled.

"O-okay," Matthew hiccupped.

"Cheer up okay?"

"Y-yeah!" Matthew worked up a smile and wiped his reddened nose, and then followed Alfred out of the restroom. They grabbed a bite to eat. Alfred had – of course – a hamburger, and Matthew had chicken strips with ranch. He seemed to really like ranch. After their meals they went to the aquarium as planned and then hit a few more attractions such as the dolphin show, penguin display, and elephant rides. The day ended much too soon, but Matthew admitted to himself that he was tired. The drive home was only about 45 minutes, but by the end of it Alfred was exhausted as well. He made quick microwave dinners for him and Matthew because he just didn't feel like cooking. He wanted to take a shower but saved it for the morning. Matthew laid down for bed and quickly fell asleep and Alfred followed, but he didn't sleep for most the night. He couldn't get it off of his mind. Matthew thought of Alfred as his father? Well, sure Alfred treated him in a way that one could compare to how a father treats a child, but he thought it was clear that he wasn't Matthew's dad. Alfred realized, though, that he didn't make it very clear. He felt good treating Matthew that way; not like just a friend, but not so much as a lover anymore. Don't think of that the wrong way; he certainly wanted Matthew as a lover again, but part of him _liked_ treating Matthew like…well, a son. Part of him really did feel like Matthew's father, and it took him all the way up until now to see that. He liked being a father figure. Matthew's childish reactions when Alfred made him happy made Alfred feel happiness too. A happiness that he didn't feel with Matthew before. A happiness that could only be held by a father.

"Ugh why am I thinking this way?" Alfred spat aloud. He wasn't Matthew's father. He wasn't a father period. He just wanted to stop feeling like he was, but he didn't have a solution; so he ignored that it was a problem for now and instead thought about how he needed make it clear to Matthew that he wasn't his father. But how? Wouldn't that mean he'd have to define their relationship clearly? He thought about it for a long while before unwillingly falling asleep.

Alfred awoke to find Matthew getting dressed.

"Oh, you just woke up too?" Alfred asked him while rubbing his eyes and putting his glasses on.

"No, Matthew took a shower all by himself! I just got out!" Matthew smiled while buttoning his pants, finishing his morning routine.

"I see…Matthew," Alfred became serious.

"Yeah Al?" Matthew sat next to him on the bed.

Alfred had thought long and hard last night before he fell asleep. He liked feeling like a father, he knew he did, but he couldn't confuse Matthew into thinking he was his Papa. He also remembered the incident at the hospital when Matthew kissed him. Matthew did have romantic feelings for Alfred at one point after his accident, and Alfred knew he still had romantic feelings for Matthew, yet he'd been covering it up this whole time. And for what? To lead Matthew into more confusion? He was done. He wanted to end this mess. He knew there was a good chance Matthew wouldn't return to normal, but Alfred couldn't survive with these secrets kept inside him. Matthew deserved to know the truth, and Alfred deserved to let it out.

"Matt, it's about us…before the accident…. There's something you need to know."

* * *

**a/n: **It's a miracle…I updated! Hahaha! After all this time I finally had enough inspiration to finish this chapter! With school coming up this Thursday guys, I can't promise you the next chapter will come soon, but I do promise to try much harder to update than I tried with this chapter. That was just downright laziness. But since I left it at a tense part with this chapter, I feel obligated to continue very soon! Please enjoy and review! :)


End file.
